Ask Roronoa Zoro
by mischeifmaiden
Summary: Everybody's doing it! Anyway, you're asking and he's answering whether he likes it or not!
1. Chapter 1

**Mischiefmaiden: **I don't own anything, or anything to do with One Piece, and if I did Zoro would have a girlfriend!

**Zoro**: What?

**MM**: Uhh.....Anyway.....THE RULES!  
Even though you should know what you can and can't do.

1. **No sex questions**, or stuff that's innapropriate. I see any of that stuff and I won't update. (Or I just won't answer.

2. Swearing is A-ok, Dress him up if you can, and violence is always a plus.

3. This is an 'Ask Zoro' not ask anyone!

4. Have fun!

Ok now please review, it means alot to Zoro.

**Zoro**: What? It don't mean shit to me! *covers Zoro's entire head with duct tape*

**MM: **It would mean a lot to me because it's my first fic. Ever. So don't flame me too much if it sucks.

So now you know everything, let's see those reviews!


	2. Chapter 2 The actual second wave!

I don't own One Piece or anything to do with it....*sigh* one day.....

I wouldn't have been able to do anything else without the help of Sir Weston. You rock!!!!! Anyway I'm super super sorry for not updating sooner, It's rather difficult for me to understand how this whole thing works.

Zoro: That's because you're stupid.

MM: Oh yeah....I forgot this was all about you.

Zoro: Oh, good job sparky! Way to go!

MM: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say tht and we'll get this thing underway!

First question from Wea

Wea: Hi again! More questions for His Awesomeness!  
1) What would you do for a Klondike Bar?  
2) How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?  
3) If Mr. T and Chuck Norris were to fight each other in a steel-cage death match, who do you think would win and why?  
4) Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Zoro: 1) A Klondike bar? Well maybe if I knew what that was I'd tell you.  
2) In my experience......0. I don't lick, I just take it all in.

MM: You really have no idea how wrong that sounded, do you?

Zoro: What? What did I say?

MM:..........

3) Chuck Norris hands down. Haven't you heard all the jokes? If he's as strong as everyone says he is than he's have Mr. T running for his mummy if he isn't killed first!

MM: *shakes head*

4) A raven like a writing desk.......Are you high?

Zoro: I have a question you now, Wea. Are you completly insane?

MM: Thank you Wea, your questions rocked but now it's time for things24!

things24: More questions!

1) Why are there car batteries attached to you?

2) Which one of your enemies was the most delightful to beat?

3) If you could be one of your enemies for a day, who would you be and why? Oh and you CAN'T choose Hawk Eye, cuz it was pretty obvious that you would want to be him...

4) Do you like tacos?

5) Do you listen to Green Day or the Ramones or Disturbed or the Beatles? If so, what are your favorite songs?

6) Have you ever met Captian Jack Sparrow, or at least heard of him? If not, YOU SUCK!

Zoro: 1) Mischiefmaiden has her ways, she got to me while I was asleep! Call the police! The Navy! I don't care who just get me outta here!!!!!

MM: I aint' that bad!

Zoro: That's what you think! 2) I don't think I have a most delightful one. But there is a most interesting one. When Usopp and I were handcuffed to each other and we had to face off Kaku and Jyabura. It's amazing what you can do when your handcuffed to someone dontcha think?

MM: Yeah.......amazing *dreams of handcuffing Zoro*

Zoro: 3) Awww man....well if I couldn't be Mihawk then I guess I'd be Sham or Buchi. I'd like to know what it feels like to be weak and a cross dressing humiliation for a day.

4) Tacos are a little spicy for my tastes.

MM: More like they send him to the toilet for the day...

Zoro: You promised you'd never tell anyone about that!

5) Green Day is alright I suppose, Wake me up when September ends is an ok song as well as Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I don't really listen to too much of tose bands though.

6) Captain Jack Sparrow? Yeah, I've heard of him. There is a man that can't hold his alcohol! I remember when I knew him I drunk him under the table....pussy.

MM: Zoro! You spiked his drink with roofies!

Zoro:.....There's a simple explanation for that.....I was ust...umm...*runs away*

Well I gues that's the end of this chapter then! Please don't forget to review, only two people ever do and without them I'd stop writing......Anyway, bye for now, not forever!!! 


	3. Chapter 3 Some Catchy chapter title!

MM: Well I didn't have anything better to do than update so......I'm updating!!!!

Unfortunately I have many uploading problems, so it'll probably be a while until I can

Update this again.....

Unfortunately I don't own OP. If I did, Zoro would have many partners!

Zoro: What the fuck are you talking about?

MM: Uh.....nothing!

__________________________________________________________________

Any how, first question from James Allen Walker

JAW: Why are u being so OOC Zoro?

2. If you had to vicously, bloodily murder your nakama one at a time, in which order

would you kill them?

3. Do you have a crush on Nico Robin?

4. Have you ever cut yourself?

5. How high can you count?

6. North, South, West, East?

1) Zoro: If you knew the things that MM made in this little cage I'm in, you'd be OOC

too!

MM: Don't be a baby, it's not a little cage. You've got enough room for a single

matress and a laptop!

Zoro: And that's all the room I have.......

2) First would be the shitty love cook of course, then Nami, Usopp, Robin, Luffy and

Chopper.

3) No I do not.

MM: Sure you don't. I read your diary!

Zoro: I do not have a diary! That's all womany stuff!

4) No. I'm pretty sure Love cook does that for me.

5) Is this like the 'Look your shoe's untied?' then run away trick?

6) Yes, those are all directions. And whatever direction your in, I'll walk the opposite.

__________________________________________________________________

MM: Thanks James Allen Walker, now it's archsage328's turn.

archsage328: alright, id like to ask zoro some questions.

1. How would u describe everyone's relationships with each other of the Strawhat

crew?

2. If you could have any of the already known cursed fruits, what would it be?

3. How happy were u when you found out Funimation was taking over for 4kids in the

dubbing and that not only is it now uncut, but they've also restarted the series to undo

all of the damage 4kids did?

4. Who of the straw hats including yourself can bench press the most? How much?

Okay thanks!

Zoro: 1) We're always here for each other no matter what. But I swear to god if I'm

ever handcuffed to Love cook and have to fight, I'm using him as a shield.

2) I'm happy the way I am but if I had to choose I think I's choose the chop-chop one.

That'd be handy fighting Mihawk...

3) Ummmm......I really don't know what Funimation or 4kids is.....MM: I wouldn't really expect you to. I know I was pretty happy when I found out. Wish they had kept Zoro's voice though...

Zoro: What about my voice? This is my voice!

4) I woulda thought you woulda known that one already. Me! I can bench press more than my whore crew combined!

MM: Which is how much?

Zoro: Enough.....

__________________________________________________________________

Another satisfied cusotmer.....Anyhow more questions!

Wea: To answer your question Zoro, I prefer to think of myself as delightfully

eccentric, but I suppose insane works too ^_^ And no, I'm not high... at the moment. I

got that raven question from "Alice in Wonderland." Awesome book! Oh, and a

Klondike Bar is a square of (usually) vanilla ice cream covered in a thin layer of

chocolate. The jingle in the commercials for them goes "What would you do for a

Klondike Bar?" Anyway, on to the questions!

1) If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?

2) How many pecks of pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?

3) Steel-cage match again: Donald Duck vs. Daffy Duck (Battle of the Quacks!) Who

would win and why?

4) Whose nose is longer, Usopp's or Kaku's?

5) *sings* Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf? Who's

afraid of the big bad wolf? La-la-la-la-la-la!

Zoro: Thanks, I'll keep all that useless information in mind....

1) A tree.....see this is why I asked you if you were insane. But I guess a redwood. It

and I are alike.

2) Enough with the fucking tongue twisters already! You're giving me a headache!

MM: I think it's cool!

Zoro: Of course you do.....

3) Donald Duck. Have you seen the cartoons? Daffy is way less skilled than Donald.

But I'd make dinner outta both of them!

4) Usopp's nose get's bigger by the minute. And it aint because he's growing.

5) AHHH! MY EARS!!!! THEY'RE BLEEDING!!!

MM: Don't be a meanie head Zoro! *sings* Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Zoro: You're just good old fashioned evil aren't you?

__________________________________________________________________

Next batch of questions please!!!!!!!!

things24: Apparently you don't listen to much music...

ok more questions! :D Happy face!

1) What is your opinion on this Itachi face? -/.\-

(my friend made that, her account is korimaru5 or something like that)

2) Have you heard of Avatar? Cuz you used the nickname that this girl named Toph

calls this certain gay scarface firelord...

3) HOW DARE YOU CALL CAPTIAN JACK SPARROW A PUSSY!

3 1/2) Ok 3 wasn't a question... Have you read any ZoLu fics? If not... MM MAKE HIM

READ THEM! When you read them what are your comments on them?

4) Zoro, would ylou call your adventure a career? If not, what do you do for a living?

5) I shall inform you that Sanji died in a fanfic I read, any comments?

6) I shall also inform you that Luffy died in a fanfic I read, any comments?

7) What if Luffy accidentally killed Mihawk with swords and you found One Piece,

making him the Greatest Swordman in the World and you the King of the Pirates?

Zoro: 1) I think Itachi's face is the result of a mutant genetic mixup. I mean, just look at

Sasuke.

2) I've heard of Avatar but it's rather difficult to watch television on a sailing ship.

3) I dare because I don't care.

MM: Yay! Zoro's rhyming!

3 1/2) ...............I'm never reading fanfiction ever again after that....

MM: I've made him read it in the past. Zo/Lu 4eva!!!!

4) Sure, why not?

5) Ok I think I want to read fanfiction again.

6) Death happens....besides in that fanfic you read I'm sure Luffy went to a better

place with all the meat he could eat.

7) Unless Luffy beat him with swords, then he wouldn't be the greatest swordsman in

the world. And yes, that would make me King of the pirates.

__________________________________________________________________

Next Qustion.....It's only 1?

Bill: Should I launch myself out of a cannon?

Zoro: Hey, do whatever you want to but if you do call me first so I can watch.

__________________________________________________________________

Next question from IKKIttebayo

IKKIttebayo: Me too-!

I want to ask zoro too!

1. Why are you always sleepy?

2. Why you can speak so loud while there's a sword in your mouth?

3. Choose one. Nami or robin? And why?

sankyu--!

Zoro: 1) Probably because I train so much. You try super human intense training for

your whole life and see how energetic you are.

2) My arm muscles aren't the only thing I train.

MM: Yeah, I've heard him singing Celine Dion!

Zoro: W-what? I-I-I never did that!

3) Robin, hands down. She's a lot more mature. And way quieter than Nami, she

doesn't talk me into borrowin money from her, she's easier to talk to...

MM: You have a lot of reasons to like Robin don't you?

Zoro:..............

__________________________________________________________________

Final question from Joe

Joe: Someone has been stealing my soda, any advice on how to catch the theif?

Zoro: Trip wires, and torture on your suspects will catch your theif. And after you have

fun finding the real culprit, steal something of theirs. Retalliation is always the answer.

__________________________________________________________________

MM: Well thanks for all the questions, but now it's time for us to go! We sure are tired!

Zoro: Can I have lunch yet?

MM: No! I just fed you!

Zoro: It was dog food...

MM: That's good enough! Anyway readers, r & r!


	4. Chapter 4 Insert generic chapter title

**MM**: Yeah yeah, my computer died and this one doesn't have microsoft word......dont blame me...I don't own anything, if I did, the world would be a better place!

First up is Kumiko

**Kumiko**: Question!

1)In certain situations in which the ship is far away from you to reach, Luffy grabs you all and you land on the ship with a great THUMP. Often you said, you were gonna kill him but I was wondering when will you do that?

2)In your fights with Sanji, who usually wins? BE HONEST!

3)Who among the crew usually wakes you up when you're asleep?

4)If you weren't a pirate and Tashigi wasn't a marine officer, would you say that there is a chance that both of you will end up together?

5)If you beat Mihawk, what will you then?

**Zoro**: 1) Awww come on, it was a figure of speech. Even a moron should know that. Now Sanji on the other hand.....

2) Feet vs. Blades.....Oh I wonder who'd win!

**MM**: Zoro, stop being sarcastic. Kumiko was only asking! You know, that's kinda what you do in a questions column....ask questions.

**Zoro**: I don't care. I was only dodging them.

3) Luffy usually wakes me up before Love-cook can come and do anything to me.

4) Oh great.....these questions......Listen, I **hate **Tashigi. I can't stand the sight of her. Why the hell would I want us to 'end up together'?

**MM**: ZoTash is my favourite......

**Zoro**: Oh dear god.....

5) **When **I beat Mihawk, not if. And **when **I do, I'll be able to die peacefully knowing I fufilled my promise. And I might shove it in Love-cook's face that I'm the best at something and he isn't....

Thanks for you question, now for my good mate, Sir Weston!!

**Sir Weston**: This was awesome! Your fan fic is always a pick me up for me! Now I have a question for Zoro: What traits would he look for in an ideal mate?

**Zoro**: 1) What like a woman or a crewmate? I guess for a woman.....someone who doesn't talk, annoy me, doesn't play with my swords or have any contact with me whatsoever and a crewmate, they'd have to be pretty level headed and loyal.

**MM**: 'Doesn't play with your swords?' Wouldn't you get rather lonley then?

**Zoro**: Ewwww! Get your head outta the gutter, woman!

Yay! More questions!

**archsage328**: alright! i think i have a few more questions:

1. Is there any part of the Thousand Sunny that is sound proof both inside and out so that you can sleep in peace? If not, would you ask Franky to install one? Can you think of any other uses for it, especially if it came with a lock?

2. Nami is always bonking Luffy on the head, but I can't remember she ever has done it to u. Has she, and if so what for?

3. Luffy always gets furious when someone makes fun of people's dreams or endager his nakama (I'd feel the same way in those scenarios). Is there anything that would tick you off just as much?

4. Has anyone ever played a meat on the string trick on luffy? What kind of pranks have you ever done on crewmates, or at least considered doing?

That's all for now.

**Zoro**: 1) No, not that I know of. Great idea though, I'll ask him the next time I see him....then noone can annoy me....

**MM**: No, it'll just be him and his girly magazines.

**Zoro**: You didn't happen to find my stash did you?

**MM**: Yepperoonie!

2) She always does it. (not that anyone can see) And It's all because I owe her money. She's like a freaking Mob boss or something! Don't take her lightly....she's a lot stronger than she looks.

3) If a woman said she'd never be as good as a man, that'd piss me off beyond belief. I can't stand that some women think they aren't as good as men!

MM: Yeah, he should know, getting his ass kicked by a girl as a kid.

4) Hehehe, what an awesome idea, I never thought of that. Adn yes, I have played a couple tricks on Love-cook. MM said they were too harsh. What's so harsh about putting a spider on his face while he's sleeping? Or making him go out to keep watch while we're planning how to escape from the navy and then not letting him back in? I mean who cares if it's -15 degrees anyway? And I'm sure he coulda handled me putting him in the oven and turning it on I mean, he works in the kitchen anyway doesn't he?

And now for something completly different.........questions!

**Wea**: Teh Wea is back, and because you dared to insult my singing in my last set of questions, this next batch is going to consist entierly of questions from various songs! And I'm gonna sing them all! NYAA-NYAA! XP

1)Who let the dogs out?

2)Why do fools fall in love?

3)What about everything?

4)Who wrote the book of love?

5)Do you really wanna hurt me? Do you really wanna make me cry?

6)Don't you wish your girlfriend was hott like me? ;)

7)WAR! Hoo! Good god y'all! What is it good for?

8)Ya wanna buy a bunny?

9)Why can't we be friends?

10)What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?

Whew! I think that was my biggest batch yet! Good luck answering these, marimo-head!

**Zoro**: 1) The let the insane lunatic out?

2) Oh I don't know.....why do I wanna drown Love-cook?

3) Ok, that doesn't even make sense!

4) Who wrote the book of SHUT THE HELL UP!?!?!?

5) Yes....I really want to hurt you. I really want to make you cry. Do you wanna know how badly?

6) If I actually had a girlfriend....no.

7) What is what good for? MM, stop laughing at me!

**MM**: *snickering behing her hand*

8) Are you asking me to buy drugs?

9) We can't be friends because your annoying, keep singing horribly and won't leave me alone!

10) You slap that bitch till he learns to hold his liquor!

Thanks for the questions! I know Zoro must of had a lot of fun answering them because we all loved his answers!!!

Don't forget to review, keep your questions coming! BYESIES!!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5 Why did your eyes go red?

I don't own One Piece….I don't own the Microsoft word that I'm writing this fic on…..if I did that fucking paper clip would be dead!

**MM**: Yes, we are back by popular demand and ready for all your questions. I got 6 reviews overnight which is really something special for me. First freshly baked batch of questions is from Shinkhead13 (Btw, sweet username!)

**Shrinkhead13**: My turn Yay^^ *turns my head to zoro, looking like Tashigi in a gothic t-shirt*

Are you scared? *evil giggle*

Now time to get serious...Ahem.

1) Wanna kill Sanji with me, I really hate him^^ *sweet smile*  
2) I want to become the best, what should I do?  
3) If you was going to be drawn as a fan art, how would you like it to look and how would you like to stand?  
4) Do you think Kuina was a beautiful girl?  
5) How can I become a part of the Strawhat crew?  
6) What kind of music do you like?  
7) Do you think I am annoying?  
8) YOu remind me of a wolf... heh I love wolves^^ *evil giggle*

Zoro I want you to know... YOU ROCK MY WORLD! *holds zoro plushie really tight and blushes all over my face!*

Thank you for answering my questions^^ *Bows. Walk away... Faints because of Zoros Awesomeness*

**Zoro**: Great…..first thing in the morning and I have to deal with these loonies….

Maybe not kill him. How bout we wax those pretty little legs of his?

It all depends on what you want to be the best at, but hard work pays off in the end.

Fan art……..it's lawsuit time.

Why are you asking me about her? I guess she was sorta pretty…

By dunking your head underwater until I say you can come up.

Rock is awesome, alternative is okay but I can't stand pop.

You even have to ask that question? Ha, you crack me up kid!

Next time I come across a wolf, I'll tell it you said we're similar *rolls eyes*****

Your one creepy kid….

Thanks, now here's the next lot!

**Redwritingbaron**: May I ask a few questions of my own?

1) Who do you think would win between you and luffy, do you think it could be a draw?

2)Considering nearly every girl who knows one piece think you're handsome and masculine, why not try to take advantage of it? It'd be great to hold over sanji's head that you can get more girls than him.

3) Have you recovered from kuma's first attack yet?

4) why are you so infatuated with a haramaki sash?

5) is your hair dyed green?

6) who do you think is the most attractive on the ship?

7) who do you think is the most attractive person you've met?

**Zoro**: 1) That of course depends on what your talking about. In a fight, it'd probably be Luffy, but if it was wits I'd win hands down.

2) It's not honourable…besides women are annoying.

3) I'm getting there…It's taking a while but I'm almost there.

**MM**: That doesn't sound phallic at all….no…

**Zoro**: 4) It's my thing! Leave me alone!

5) I was born with it. Do you really think I'd dye my hair as a yound kid?

6) Me

7) Me

**MM**: That was a lot of fun, more questions. MORE I SAY!

**archsage328**: thanks for answering my questions. I always try to ask only a few so that i don't run out, and i also try to make sure my questions don't annoy you. here are some more:

1. Have you ever considered telling Luffy and Chopper who Sogeking is?

2. What would it be like if Ace joined the Strawhat crew?

3. Of all the islands you've visited in the grand line so far, what has been your favorite? your least favorite?

4. Have you tried the meat on a string trick yet? If so, how'd it work?

**Zoro**: You're one of the good ones archsage, I respect you.

1) Nah, ignorance is bliss aint it?

2) It'd be weird, I mean we'd be fighting and he'd probably fall asleep because of the whole narcolepsy thing.

3) You know I hadn't really thought about it. I don't really dislike or like any of them now that I think about it.

4) Oh yeah I tried it. Funny as. I kept making him run into things like walls, people and the girl's room when Nami and Robin were still changing.

**MM**: That was mean…..

**Zoro**: But funny.

**MM**: Did you let him have the meat in the end?

**Zoro**: Yeah, but only after he started crying.

Thanks for that insanity, now have some more!

**things24**: Hey! What happened to my questions?  
Well since I don't remember them...

1) Do you enjoy doing this? If not, why?

2) I wanna sing a song! I think you might like rock better...  
"So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do. Face away and pretend that I'm not, but I'm still here cuz you're all that I've got!"  
Can you finish the lyrics? If not, RESEARCH IT!

3) Now for some torture!  
"We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine"  
Guess who composed this song!

That's all for now...

**Zoro**: 1) Not really, I have to work with a complete lunatic and some of the questions are crazy too. I'm not here because I wanna be.

**MM**: OH YES YOU ARE!!!!!!!

**Zoro**:……ok….yes I am…

2) I don't have to research it, sounds pretty crappy anyway.

**MM**: That's because you're a closed minded asshole who can't take the time to be courteous to people who take time out of their day to ask you things.

**Zoro**: Exactly, now you see where I'm getting at.

3) Didn't the Beatles do that or something?

Me…..need…..questions!

**Wea**: Zoro, MM oughta punish you for your negligence to your question answering duties. You answered half of my questions from last time with another question, and everyone knows that answering a question with a question isn't really answering, unless of course you're one of those people who's all philisophical and wise and cool and stuff, like Yoda or Raffiki. Then it's okay. Anyway, questons!  
1) Here's a serious question for a change! A bad guy has kidnapped all of your crewmates and stolen your swords. He is about to destroy your swords, and at the same time, his minions are about to kill your crew (they are all knocked-out, and thus cannot fight back). You don't have enough time to save both, so which do you choose? Save your swords? Or save your crew?  
2) Okay! Back to the silly! What's the name of the horse in the song "Jingle Bells"?  
3) How do you prefer your toilet paper positioned? With the end going over the roll or under the roll?  
4) If a Zoro gets lost in a forrest and no one is around to make fun of him for it, is he still a directionally-challenge butt-head?  
5) Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

**MM**: Don't worry, I made him listen to Hanna Montana for 8 hours straight, that's a good punishment, no?

**Zoro**: (singing) It's the 7 things I hate about you….

1) Hmmm……that's a pickle and a half…..I don't think I could choose…..

2) Fred. Or Bob. Take your pick.

3) Why would anyone wanna know that? Are you planning to stalk me?

4) ………….SHUT UP, WEA!!!!! I mean look at you, your username sounds like pee…..and it smells like it too!

**MM**: Ugh, don't mind him, he's just a baby.

I have a question for you: Where in the world is your brain?

**MM**: As always, that was super fun! It turned out better than I thought it would have and then it didn't upload and then it did and it all worked out in the end anyways. But we have to go now. I wanna catch tickets to Avenue Q Australia!

**Zoro**: Do that thing you guys always do, send in your questions, and be shot back at by me.

**MM**: Byesies!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6 Due to unpopular demand

**MM**: I don't own One Piece, if I did it'd have music from the DBZ movie, The History of Trunks….damn that movie had good music……Any how……

WEEEEEEEEEEE ARE BAAAAAAAAAACK due to the apparent fact that we're a little popular. So let's get the ball rolling and answer some questions!!!

**PeacemakingUnderdog**: Hullo oh good sir, Roronoa.  
Uhm, I've got a question or two.. okay so maybe  
three.. anywho, here it is.

1; What toothpaste do you use?  
2; What if one day you found out she's al--  
no no! never mind that!

Nmuh.. let's see, I've got none! Thaz all I  
guess.. uhm. Pain is a good thing, huh?  
Let's you know yer still alive. But uhm.. yeah  
about you, listen, baby if you have problems, don't  
keep it to yerself ukei?  
*pats head* cuz you might get depressed one day  
and commit harakiri!!  
Oh! Sweet mother of Usopp!  
So long fer now!  
Tatata!

**Zoro**: 1) Why do you even need to know? Stop being so goddamn stalkerish!

2) No, tell me your second question, it shall amuse me..

Don't pat my head. You don't get to pat my head. I's not like I'm stupid enough to commit harakiri anyway, I'm not an idiot!

Oh! Sweet mother of Usopp! I'm surrounded by morons!

**MM**: Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to be yelled at by a stupid jerk who doesn't know anything. Next question!

**burichifan**: yosh! zor0-san, i'm quite new here and i have s0me questi0ns:

1)do y0u brush y0ur teETH?(I GUEsS N0)

2)WHAT Y0U Felt 'b0ut kuina,was it plat0nic?

3)aren't y0u realLY INTERESTEd in girls?

4)after being the best sw0rdsman, what are y0ur plans?

5)have y0u ever beEN KISsed?

6)ch0ose 0ne: nami,r0bin, tashigi,kuina,or per0na?  
7)w0uld y0u mind having a certain snake princesS J0IN THE CREW?  
8)ARE Y0U HApPY BEIng usualLY paired to sanji in fanfics?

**Zoro**: 1) Of course I brush my teeth! I'm not some kind of savage you know!

2) No it wasn't. I just respected her as a female swordsman and a friend….

**MM**: Suuuuure……..

3) Girls are annoying and whiney. Why the hell would I be interested in them?

4) I plan to try and get drunk for the first time.

5) Yes. Before I became a pirate and when I was looking for criminals I'd hook up with a few sweeties, make out and after a little while-

**MM**: Zoro! Let's not go into detail here!

6) Robin or Kuina.

**MM**: Oh I wonder why he picked robin…..

7) No comment

8) I hate that stupid love cook. Of course I'm not happy about that!

Another order of questions I presume?

**archsage328**: yep ignorance and simplicity are bliss, one of the reasons i admire luffy. and im glad the meat on the string trick worked out. alright here are some more questions:

1. Back on the Merry, the girls both slept in one room and all the guys in another. does everyone have their own bedroom, or are they exactly as they were on the Merry?

2. despite ur dislike for sanji, do u like his cooking?

3. is there ever a time where all of the strawhats practice their fighting techniques?

4. do u have a sparring partner? if so, who?

**Zoro**: I don't think I'm ever going to get over how funny that meat on the string trick was…..

1) It was like it was on the Merry only the 2 bedrooms were a lot bigger.

2) His cooking is plenty good although I'd never tell that to his face.

3) Not at the same time but sometimes we train with each other and train by ourselves when we're keeping watch of the ship when it's docked.

4) Everyone on the ship if my sparring partner but I train mainly with Luffy.

Thank god, those questions were at least normal!

Spicy questions with a side of prawn dumpling please!

**Sir Weston**: I love how fast you update, MM! Other stories on my favorites take FOREVER! Now I have another question for Zoro. Besides Sanji, who of the Straw hats do you find most annoying?  
Thank you!

**MM**: Well I do try to please, besides, I have the time!

**Zoro**: Unfortunately it's too much time….

1) Nami. She's a real bitch. ***murmurs things about evil clowns and Nami.***

Let's all go to the lobby, Let's all go to the lobby, Let's all go to the lobby and get ourselves some questions!

**storykiller**: my friends are coming to get u they are fangirls who think of things they would do to u in their spare time  
1)y is it your stupid u cant outsmart luffy if u fought him to kill all youd have to do is stab him

**Zoro**: Frankly, I don't give a shit who your friends are, I'm going to kill them.

You know, it isn't that easy to just stab someone whose skin is like rubber. And it's not like he'd just stand there. People evade attacks. It's called common sense.

Final question….awww we were having fun!

**Zoro**: We were?!?!?!?

**things24**: Well! Someone doesn't like rock music even though he says he does. And yes, the Beatles did make that song... and like MM says, I take time out of my day to ask you questions!

1) *Spoiler* How shocked are you that Ace is Gol D. Roger's son?

2)Estimate about how many hours a day does MM tortures you?

3) What do you think of Disney World?

4) Where do you perfer to go? Heaven or Hell?

5) What is your favorite dish that Sanji prepares?

That's all! For now...

**Zoro**: You callin' me a liar? * stands up in an overly dramatic fashion *

I was freakin amazed. I mean, that mean Luffy is sorta related to him too!

At least 20, she's kidnapped me from the crew. She didn't even leave a clue behind!

I'd tell you but I've never been. I don't think there is a Disney World on the Grandline!

Heaven….duh….

The ones he doesn't try to poison.

**MM**: Thank you, thank you , thank you. We always welcome questions. See yall next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7 Grumpy old Zoros

**MM**: I don't own anything….If I did they would probably LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE!!!!! Sorry…..I just watched the Chris Crocker vid and found it hilarious. Anyhow…..

We're sorry we haven't updated in a few days, school, medical stuff and total forgetingness (I'm aware that isn't a word) has caused us not to do anything but we're updating now so HA!

Ahem….I suspect you want questions now don't you?

* * *

**things24**: MM you need to take Zoro out more so he can SEE THE WORLD! And yes I did call you a liar, Mr. Roronoa, DEAL WITH IT LIKE A MAN! Sorry, I'm really hyper this morning and I haven't even had coffee yet... Questions!

1)Watcha doin?

2)Where'd you get it?

3)Where's the doggie?

4)What's he doin?

MM help him if he doesn't get it!

**MM**: I try and I try….he just doesn't want too….

**Zoro**: It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I'm **trapped** here could it? Oh and call me a liar and I might just stop answering questions!

**MM**: Ugh….how petty.

**Zoro**: Hey, shut up!

1) I'm answering a moron's questions.

2) Depends what **it** is

3) The doggie? Check up your ass, you might find something.

**MM**: Zoro! That's completely inappropriate!

**Zoro**: It's not MY fault I have to work with complete douche bags!

4)You do realise I can just not answer, right?

**MM**: * holds taser gun up to Zoro * Oh really?

**Zoro**:……..He's over there * points in a random direction *

**MM**: I didn't really get those questions either…but he had fun answering them!

**Zoro**: I did?

* * *

**  
**

**MM**: Next questions!

* * *

**burichifan**: totTEMo arigAT0U F0r answering my questi0ns z0ro-sAN! ERr,i g0t a pr0BLEM TH0ugh w/ Y0UR answer in my questi0n n0. 2.. Y0U Denied that it's pLAT0nic but y0u said she's just a friend,y0u kinda C0Nfuse me..err NEVERmind.. anyWAY,HERE are my questi0ns:

1)what miGht be the s0 calLED '0NE PIECE' IN Y0ur 0pini0n?

2)are y0u 0ne of th0se wh0 believe that it has s0mething to do w/ the p0neglyph that r0bin's after?

3)will y0u ever SETtle d0wn?

**Zoro**: It's called confusing people into not answering their questions….deal with it.

1)I guess It's just a whole lot of treasure or something. Not too sure about it. But it's what Luffy wants, and what Luffy wants Luffy gets.

**MM**: Zoro found that out the hard way last night!

**Zoro**: Ewww……Mischief!

**MM:** Haha! mischiefmaiden strikes again!

**Zoro**: 2) Nope, I guess I'm not one of those people…

3) Probably not, women are sorta annoying.

* * *

Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more…..questions! ( I am a Brittany fan…..my secret shame)

* * *

**PeacemakingUnderdog**: Well hullo again oh good Roronoa sir!  
Ya, see, I wasn't stalking. Oh good gracious  
naw! Hoho. I was merely wondering about how  
strong yer teeth are to be able to hold  
and slam a sword.  
Is all and never mind the second question. That  
was stupidity coming out from me. Hoho!

1. Why are you so irritated?  
2. Are you constipated? Ooh! I'm sorry sorry!  
I got carried away. Pardon me~!  
3. Who raised you when you were young.

That's all fer now. Don't want to pressure  
Ms. MM thur. Tata! And I hope you're not so  
angry... it ain't you y'know.

**Zoro**: I don't care what you say, it still sounded like stalking to me. And ask away with the second question from before….apparently it's all I'm good for around here.

**MM**: Don't be silly Zoro, you're also awesome for sleeping on!

**Zoro**: 1) I'm irritated because everyone's annoying.

2) See it's questions like this that make me call you a stalker.

3) Before I went to Kuina's father's dojo I travelled a lot by myself, and I had no real respect for anyone because I hadn't been taught. But from that time on, Kuina's father sorta raised me I guess….

**MM**: Awww….PeacemakingUnderdog is sweet, It's no trouble at all, I swear. And the only reason he's so pissy is because of his haemorrhoids.

* * *

This is fun! MORE QUESTIONS!

* * *

**Angel**: you r my fav of the crew and my friend is a stalker  
questions:  
1) my best friend thinks u r the stupidest of the crew. what are your thoughts about that?  
2) if you get to push sanji in one of the josenkyo springs which one would it be?  
3) my sister wants to know if peanut butter.  
answer plz *puppy dog eyes* or i will glomp your arm * glomps arm* yay

**Zoro**: 1) I think you're friend needs a one way ticket to Sanji-Town. Then she/he will see the true meaning of the word 'stupid'

2) The biggest!

3) That doesn't really make much sense…..

Ha! Now you have no need to glomp my arm!

**MM**: It won't stop her…..see?

**Zoro**: Shit….get off!

* * *

Rawr! I likey da questions!~

* * *

**archsage328**: glad to know my questions don't annoy u. here are some more i hope u like:

1. besides the one sword, two sword, and three sword style u've mastered, have u ever learned any other sword styles, like kendo?

2. do u know if there is anyone who can out eat luffy, like ace?

3. is there anything no one would be able to bribe or pay luffy into eating, or nami into doing?

4. i have another idea for a prank i think u might like. has anyone ever tried mixing up all the labels on the spices and such that sanji uses in his cooking?

**Zoro**: 1) Yeah, I've mastered Kendo but I don't use it because frankly…..it's shit.

2) No-one we've come across could eat as much or more than Luffy.

3) I actually tricked Luffy into eating a whole barrel of worms once….that was scary. I haven't tried tricking Nami into doing anything.

4) Ha ha ha, I tried that trick a little while ago. He got pissed off. But dinner tasted like crap.

* * *

Aww….we're down to our last question. But the Monkey typing this is getting it's finger awful tired….

* * *

**Julia**: Oi! I have a question to you, Zoro!  
What if you and Luffy where in a fight, and then Luffy sacrifices himself (and dies) so that you can keep on live, what would you do? Would you ever forgive him?

By the way, I think this is a very funny idea, you go MM! ..But don't you think that Zoro has a rediculous big room? Take away that mattress and it will be better! (I beg of forgiveness for my bad English!) See yah!

**Zoro**: 1) That's a pretty stupid scenario…..why would he sacrifice himself if we were fighting? And how would it save me?

**MM**: Your English isn't so bad, I'm Australian and I haven't even mastered it yet! And yeah, his room does need a down size…

**Zoro**: Does not!

* * *

**  
**

**MM**: Thanks for all your questions! As always it was super fun for Zoro to answer them all! Bye for now, not forever!


	8. Ch 8 Don't think dirty

MM's Disclaimer: I don't own One piece, if I did there would be a lot more black Alpacas. You know what I'm talking about, Dwayne!

Alrighty so we're back for another chapter of pure insanity, sorry we took so long. I've been busy.

Zoro: When she says busy she means she's been with her boyfriend.

MM: Shut up! These people don't need to know that I completely forgot about them!

Zoro: Somehow I think they know already.

MM: Oh great, look what you made me say!

* * *

First question from things24

things24: Here's some normal questions since someone doesn't get the last bit.(eatingchocolate,doggiedroppedit,behindthedoor,makingmore)

1) Does the crew do anything together other than eat or party, like game night or something?

2) What's your opinion on SogeKing?

3) When Luffy and Usopp fought, if Usopp wasn't injured pior to the fight, do you believe he would have been able to beat Luffy?

That's all! For now...

**Zoro: 1) We talk sometimes. Like when the girls , Usopp and Chopper are off doing something the rest of the guys and I will be sitting around having a chat.**

**MM: You can't call sitting around drinking and just saying 'dude' having a chat.**

**Zoro: I can now..**

**2) My opinion? Sogeking is very strange. But I guess he doesn't really have to make much sense.**

**3) No way. Usopp is an ok fighter, but he's nothing compared to Luffy.**

* * *

MM: Zoro eats questions like that for breakfast! Onto our next victim….

* * *

Julia: I'm back... Again. Thanks for the answer! Even if it was a.. Fishy one. I forgot to ask the most important question of all time, so here it comes:

Zoro, we've all known for a pretty long time that Luffy is your boyfriend (even if I would act a better one.. Girlfriend though). So I just wonders:

1. Is Luffys teeths made out of rubber to? You, of anyone, would know since you two haz making out so much lately (we've all seen it so don't try to hide it from me).

2. How hot do you think Luffy is on a scale?

HUGS, from that normal, Swedish.. Den snälla hästen.

**Zoro: LUFFY IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!!! Geez, can't these people see that I'm straight?!?!?!?**

**I don't know if his teeth are, and I'll ignore that making out comment. I guess a lot of different parts of his body we don't think about might be rubber.**

**MM: Like his penis? Dya' think he can shape it the way he wants because it's made out of rubber?**

**Zoro: Ewww….don't think like that!!!**

**I don't think Luffy's hot at all. I'm straight I tell ya!**

**By the way, you are in no way normal.**

* * *

MM: You would have thought we'd have more questions that this….Oh it makes me so very sad….

* * *

Archsage328: once again thanks for answering my questions. after seeing how luffy once ate live bait, i wouldn't be suprised if he once considered either going cannibal or eating whatsit. also, i recently saw ur fight against the samurai zombie that had brook's shadow. that was awesome! yet more reason not to annoy u. hope these questions don't bother u:

1. how many of the other strawhats are aware of ur past?  
2. how many of the other strawhats' pasts are u aware of?  
3. how often do u rub in the fact that not only have a higher bounty than sanji, but that u also have a better and more accurate picture on ur poster?  
4. how did franky convince u and sanji to participate in the "big emperor"?

**Zoro: 1) They all are.**

**I'm aware of all of them.**

**Oh, only ever day of every month of every year.**

**It's called grog.**

* * *

Final question…It's a short chapter today.

* * *

PeacemakingUnderdog: Okay, it's time I get serious.  
(not mean but just be me) Alright,  
I'm sorry if I acted like a total  
stalker. Anywho, you really want to  
know my second question from before  
before? M, I don't know.. no, I think  
you'll hate it.

I can guarantee it be 100- no 1 million  
percent. So, to the questions!  
1.) In Movie 10, did you change yer bandana?  
2.) How come it got flower patterns in it?  
Nmuh.. dun mind me here, but I think I've seen  
those patterns from someone else's shirt..  
3.) What do you think of the fact that Franky is like  
the dad of the crew and Robin is the mom?

Again, this is all because I don't want to  
take all of Ms. MM's precious time. And thanks  
fer da compliment, Ms. MM!  
Bye now!

**Zoro: Aww for Pete's sake just ask me the stupid question befoe I get angry!**

**MM: You mean you aren't angry already?**

**Zoro: 1) Maybe I did, what's it to ya?**

**2) Because you touch yourself at night.**

**MM: Zoro! That's really gross! Don't offend the reviewers!**

**3) I'd say Franky was the dad, but he acts like a two year old sometimes so I can't really say. And if Robin's supposed to be the mother she must be pretty neglectful.**

**MM: It's not wasting my time, really. I'm happy to force Zoro to answer questions against his will!**

**Zoro: Hey! That's not nice. And do you know what I don't get? How come you get to shorten your name to MM but I don't get to shorten mine to Z?**

**MM: Have you tried writing mischiefmaiden a million times? I'd get a keyboard cramp!**

**Zoro: Of course….**

**

* * *

  
**

MM: Well as always, it's time to go home to our families after the bloody war otherwise known as these questions. Hope we get more reviews next time. Bye for now, not forever!


	9. Ch 9 Songs should have a bigger part

MM's disclaimer: Everyone's a little bit racist today. So everyone's a little bit racist, okay! That is part of a song called Everyone's a little bit racist from Avenue Q and I don't own it. I also don't own One Piece. The Creator/s of Avenue Q don't either! Ha!

We are finally back, sorry for the delay, I was kind of busy with you know…life. But now I only have one really really really bad problem. Just something with a bitchy friend….it doesn't matter anyways.

Zoro: You let that so called 'best friend' of yours push you around way too much…

MM: Zoro, this isn't the tme, nor is it the place to be talking about my problems. We have questions to answer!

* * *

Let's kick it off with the first person who reviewed!!!!

Aquagirl520: I have questions!! ^^

one day Chopper suggests 'let's play house!' and you have to be the dad, who would be the following?  
(A)the mom  
(B)the kid  
(C)gramps  
(d)the old neighbor next door  
and anything else MM would like to know (it has to come from the strawhat crew!)

come you were mad at Eneru when he attacked Robin, but normally you don't care about which ever gender your opponent is?

you aware that if you keep training despite Chopper's warnings about your health, you'll end up more useless in a fight than Usopp? (no offense to Usopp fans)

you sing in the showers?

many times have you 'accidentally' get lost into the girls room while certain person in in the showers?

That's all for now~~ Make sure he answers them, MM!!

**Zoro: 1) Oh, sweet bajeebus…..another insane question. The mother would be Robin, she's the oldest woman, Chopper would be the kid, he's the youngest, Brook would be gramps….you know the whole age thing. The old next door neighbour would be Franky, I'd be the big brother, Luffy and Usopp would be the mischievous twin brothers-**

**MM: But they aren't twins!**

**Zoro: They're the same age and act as stupid as each other. You don't have to be an idiot to put them as IMAGINARY twins. And I guess Nami would be the annoying whiny big sister.**

**MM: What about Sanji?**

**Zoro: What about him?**

**2) I don't care what gender MY opponent is. Robin is part of my crew and I don't want to risk her getting hurt.**

**MM: Yet you led Nami off the ship without hesitation….**

**Zoro: 3) Hehe, I'll be fine. I know my body's limits, Chopper has his theories but he really doesn't know anything about my body.**

**MM: I wouldn't expect him to get that close and personal!**

**Zoro: *****Blushes* Shut up…..**

**4) Swordsmen don't sing. Are you stupid or something?**

**5) Personally I've never done it but I've caught love-cook plenty of times and made sure he got caught!**

**

* * *

**MM: Interesting….NEXXXXXXXXXXXT!

* * *

Mecha Lover: I have some questions for you.

1) Why do you don't like to be called marimo or shitty swordsman?

2) Why do you don't like Sanji?

3) Do you like animals, if yes, what type of animal?

4) Zoro, what inspired you to use Santōryū

5) Why do you have such a crappy internal compass?

6) What music do you like?

well that,s all, folks

**Zoro: 1) Do you even know what Marimo means? I hardly think anyone would like to be called that. And do I even have to start on the whole shitty swordsman thing?**

**2) Because Sanji is a playboy who think's he can get any girl he wants just by cooking!**

**3) Animals are ok. I like sharks, people say I'm like them. I also really like pandas. Don't ask.**

**4) When I was in the dojo, I used to fight with many swords to try and beat Kuina but I kept losing. The more the merrier I figured. But when I discovered Santoryu I found it really fascinating and unique so I practiced and practiced and mastered it.**

**5) Because shut up.**

**6) I like rock music. Pop punk….that stuff. I can't go past Panic! At the Disco or System of a down. My music mood changes with my actual mood.**

**MM: The more questions, the better!!!!**

**AAA ASRA AAA: sorry zoro-san, I hope you will like answering these questions**

**if your hair isn't dyed then how come your eyebrows aren't green too?**

**are you a virgin?**

**is anyone on your crew a virgin?**

**if you answered the last question then how do you know?**

**name all the pranks you have pulled or want to pull on the crew**

**Zoro: 1) My eyebrows are too green. The animators are just really crappy at noting that.**

**2) ………….No comment**

**3) Chopper is and most likely Love-cook.**

**4) Chopper shares a lot with me and do you really have to ask with the whole Sanji thing?**

**5) I'd be here all day if I answered that.**

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that now here's more. Be careful though, they're hot!

* * *

Things24: You will answer my questions or I'm writing your name in my Death Note! Muwahahahahaha! lol, no jk.

1) Do you like chocolate?

2) Do yiou ever get hyper?

3) How annoying are yaoi fan girls to you?

That's all, for now...  
"and I take a chip... AND EAT IT!"  
Srry MM, just recently got into Death Note...

**Zoro: 1) It's ok, but I don't really like it too much. It's too sweet.**

**2) Not really. I'm always usually asleep or training.**

**3) I hate them with the fire of a thousand suns. I'd rather cut off my own ear than have to be around them.**

**MM: It's ok things, I just recently got a life and I love it! But that's not really the same is it…….**

* * *

I DRINK YOUR…….MILKSHAKE!!!! And answer your questions!

* * *

Archsage328: once again, thanks for the answers. its taken me a while to think of some, but here are some more questions:

1. would u have done wat luffy did and punch that world noble when he shot hachi, despite the consequences? i know i would have.  
2. after kuma split u guys up, who do u think is in the least desirable situation, both personally or overall?  
3. luffy normally doesn't kill anyone, no matter how much they deserve it, thinking death is too good for them and that seeing their goals and dreams crushed is a more fitting punishment. wats ur view on this?  
4. which is ur fav opening for the anime?

**Zoro: 1) Yeah maybe. I don't really know.**

**2) We all had bad situations but I don't know my way out of a paper bag so…..me!**

**3) I think death is what most people deserve. The crushing of their dreams isn't really enough sometimes and they don't deserve to be alive.**

**4) I don't like any of them….**

**MM: He's being a grumpy-bum today!**

* * *

*Insert something funny to direct to the next lot of questions *

* * *

Pom Rania: Here's my questions. I shall fangirl from a distance.  
1. What's the most pathetic thing you've ever seen anyone do with a sword?  
2. About the meat-on-a-string trick: why wouldn't Luffy just stretch to get it? Or did he not think of it.  
3. What do you tend to do at parties when you're not drinking or sleeping? (I'm not saying that's all you do, but those two are some of your more prominent actions.)

**Zoro: 1) The most pathetic thing I've seen is someone use it only to cut people's hair. I mean seriously. It was a beautiful sword too! You can't just waste something like that!**

**2) When Luffy's in a food daze he doesn't think of logical things like that.**

**3) I chat to people…you know, normal things that people to at parties.**

**

* * *

**

MM: Well that was rather tiring but don't let my complaints deter you! Keep sending in your questions! Bye for now, not forever!!!!


	10. Ch 10 Story time!

**MM's disclaimer: I don't own One Piece but I do however own…….oh wait I don't own that either………damn!**

**So I'm not dead…..goody! Not in the best of moods right now, what with my life falling apart but I'll always have time for this. Don't you think my fighting spirit is awesome Zoro?**

**Zoro: Sure….why not?**

**MM: Well you didn't have to be sarcastic.**

* * *

First off, I'd like to begin with……..

* * *

THE EVIL TAKONO: hi zoro! ^^

you may or may not have heard of me, but im your worst nightmare xD nah, im joking, im just that annoying. though my twin, rokuu, likes you.

Rokuu: hi! :)

Takono: anyway, onto the questions...

1. let's say i had to make you go out with a redhead (RED NOT ORANGE) whos half dragon, half vampire, half human, has pointed ears and knows telepathy, and can crystalize things. she's really shy, has purple eyes and hates sanji. she's almost goth but you'd LOVE HER! would you go out with her?

Rokuu: if you didnt, would you go out with me? :3

Takono: calm down, sis xD

2. did you know youre one of my best friends' brother?

3. hey, can i dye your hair pink? i can? thanks! (dyes it) XD

Z**oro: I've heard of you before…..unfortunately.**

**MM: Hey, I've heard of you too! Fortunately! Yay!**

**Zoro: 1) I don't really care much for the whole dating scene. Redheads (even if it is actually red) aren't appealing and the vampire thing just makes me wanna puke!**

**MM: That's Zoro speak for 'I'd Bed her.'**

**Zoro: What? No it isn't!**

**2) Sure I am. Maybe in your best friend's brother's gay dreams.**

**3) Hey you didn't even let me say fuck no! Great, now my hair's pink.**

**MM: It actually really suits you!**

**Zoro: Oh god, SHUT UP!**

* * *

MM: My, my, wasn't that fun? I bet the next deep fried batch of questions will be even more fun!

* * *

archsage328: thanks once again. here are some more for u:

1. wat would it have been like if wiper joined the crew?  
2. how would u rate kaku as a swordsman?  
3. would u be able to resist boa hancock the way luffy did?  
4. who would u say is the crew's best tactian in battle situations?

**Zoro: 1) Well Luffy would probably have a million more bumps on his head if wiper joined.**

**2) He can piss me off beyond belief! But as a swordsman he's alright but he shouldn't quit his day job.**

**3) Yes, she's another annoying woman.**

**4) Maybe Nami or Robin. Women actually seem to have a sense for tactics.**

* * *

MM: Those were really sensible questions! Cool but maybe we should loosen up eh?

* * *

Impact55: This has truely a brillant idea and my question is, if i may mr zoro, how did a man of your stature and abilities get captured by this girl? If possible i'd like to hear the story.

**Zoro: Well I'm not too sure actually. I was either drugged half the time or unconscious.**

**MM: I guess I'd better answer this. Zoro was guarding the ship and he fell asleep giving me the perfect chance to kidnap him. He woke up in a metal cage a few hours later not too far from his ship so I had to drug him from tearing it apart, I took his swords and made him watch his crew sail off without him. And now he's answering questions like a good little boy!**

* * *

Hehe……nice story. Next buncha questions?

* * *

Uchihaskitlez: Uh... Hi. I has questions. (Please don't think I'm crazy!)

1) If your hair was any other color, what would it be?  
2) What do you think about Kaku?  
3) Do you know about any other people from other animes such as Naruto?  
4) Can your hair get any shorter?  
5) What island were you born on?  
6) You are stranded on a deserted island and you can't go back to where you came from. You can only have two people on the island with you and five things. What are they?

That's all for now!

**Zoro: 1) Something normal like black, brown or blue.**

**2) He's annoying and talks like an old geezer – What is there to think?**

**3) I've heard about them but they aren't as cool as me.**

**4) I could be bald.**

**5) I don't know where it is…..but if I saw it I'd know…..**

**MM: His sense of direction still sucks. He can't even remember what it's called!**

**6) Robin and Chopper and the things would be my swords, food, water, things for shelter and grog.**

* * *

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's……MORE QUESTIONS MAN/WOMAN!

* * *

Shuji Nonohana: Heh... Zoro-sama, you're pretty tough, even when held in captivity. I found a whole load of questions for you.

1) I fell off a cliff. Can I use swords to climb up?

2) Zoro. Which number do you like more, 0, 100, or 1?

3) Last, I want you to answer: I will choose three enemies and three from the strawhat crew. I want you to choose who will fight who and why.

Bartholomew Kuma, Admiral Kizaru, and Kurohige.

Monkey D. Luffy, Roronoa Zoro, and Brook.

**Zoro: 1) If you want to run 2 perfectly good swords, go ahead.**

**2) 1**

**3) I think Brook fighting Zizaru, Luffy fighting Kurohige and me fighting Kuma.**

* * *

MM: The final question……Is it over already? That's what she said!

Zoro:……Oh my god….your jokes suck!

* * *

Julia: Hi Zoro I thi- no i know that you does drugs!

If you had to look like someone else in the crew, anyone of the males (..yes that includes both sanji and usopp, franky, choppa, brook, luffy, all of them.. Okay i bet each of 'em have a penis so all of them are bodily guys) then who would you choose?

I like snails.

**Zoro: I can assure you I do not do drugs.**

**MM: Hey, I found that stash of pot you were after!**

**Zoro:……….1) I guess I'd look like Luffy I mean, It's not likme he's ugly or anything.**

**MM: Would you kiss him?**

**Zoro: * Starts beating hi own head against the cage***

**

* * *

  
**

**MM: Wow, that was more fun than I had hoped! Keep your questions coming, we love to hear from you all. Bye for now, not forever!**


	11. Ch 11 Uhyeah

**MM's disclaimer: I'm a high school girl and I live in Australia…..of course I don't own One Piece!**

**Updating again, and this time I'm getting a little bit of help from my brother who won't actually say anything, I'll just steal whatever he says.**

**Zoro: Oh yeah, you don't own the anime but you own your brother's words?**

**MM: Yeperoonie, let's start, shall we?

* * *

**

AAA ASRA AAA: pardon me again.

who would you consider to be your best friends on the crew (1 male and 1 female)

Do you have any bad health habits? Other than working out when you're on the brink of death? (smoking, over eating, drugs, etc)

out of all the people you've met who isn't part of the crew who would you want to join?

Would you rather kill tashigi or just never see her again?

**Zoro: 1) I'd have to say Chopper and Robin.**

**MM: I think you're more than just 'friends' with Robin**

**Zoro: Oh, fuck off Renee.**

**MM: YOU SHALL NOT SAY THAT NAME!!!!!!**

**Zoro: 0.o**

**2) People say I'm an alcoholic, but they're all crazy and I do a little bit of off screen smoking.**

**3) Vivi has been always been a friend of the crew so I guess her.**

**4) I hate her but I'm not that mean! I'd just rather never see her again, it's too weird.**

**

* * *

**

MM: To be continued………………..Immediately

* * *

Uchihaskitlez: Thanks for answering those questions!

1) What do you prefer to be called? San, chan, or sama?  
2) What do you think of Ryuuma?  
3) Who do you like better? Ryuuma or Kaku in terms of personality and respect for the person?  
4) Do you know what Haki is?  
5) Do you think it would be cool if your swords could glow in the dark?  
6) My friend gave me a message for you. It says: Are you Kira?  
7) Who do you have the most respect for?  
8) Are you an orphan?  
9) Are you an only child?  
10) Are there video games in the grand line?

**Zoro: 1) I'd rather be called Zoro actually**

**2) I don't think anything of him**

**3) Does it really matter?**

**4) No idea**

**5) You know, that is the single dumbest question I've ever had to answer.**

**6) Tell your friend yes, I am Kira. Also tell your friend that I am a magical fairy princess too.**

**7) Luffy because he's selfless, always thinks of how to save others before himself and we've been there for each other for a long time.**

**8) Yes actually, I was raised by people only a few years older than me as I grew up on the streets.**

**9) Yeah, but I consider the people I grew up with as siblings.**

**10) Well lets see here: There's no electricity and the only way to get a source of light is with fire so yes, there are video games on the grand line.**

* * *

MM: Man, was that a bunchful of questions! Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeext!

* * *

archsage328: look. i like zoro's character, so i don't wanna annoy him to death. though maybe ill try to compromise. anyway, here are some more questions:

1. do u really think so about wiper? i figured that he'd probably spend a lot of time training and learning about the blue sea. maybe he'd get a little annoyed with luffy like most of the crew does, but not as much as some people like nami.  
2. what do u think wiper's bounty would be if he joined the crew?  
3. wat the lesser of these two evils: having kuma make u absorb all of luffy's pain again or having to be nice to, not to mention put up with, sanji and his antics?  
4. if u could dress up as anyone or anything u wanted as a costume,what would u pick?

**MM: But I like Zoro's character too and I LOVE annoying him to death. But to each his own I guess….**

**Zoro: 1) Wiper……reminds me of me in a bad way.**

**2) Too much probably**

**3) The lesser of those evils if defiantly absorbing Luffy's pain.**

**

* * *

**

* * *

MM: Hey….doesn't anyone think that Star Wars should be crossed with One Piece? That'd be awesome…………

* * *

Shuji Nonohana: Hello again, Zoro-sama. I have come with more questions.

1.) This is only a hypothetical question since Not a lot of people can match him, but if somebody killed Luffy, what would you do to them?

2.) Where do you stand in rank next to everyone else on board in terms of Determination?

3.) You need to train your soul better if Perona's Horo attack can effect you.

4.) Another who would fight who between:

You, Franky, and Chopper vs. Whitebeard, Aokiji and Magellan?

5.) Last one. Do you like being addressed as "sama"? If not, how about just, "san", or if you want more then, "dono"?

**Zoro: 1) I'd cut their heads off – easy and simple.**

**2) I'm not as determined as Luffy, but I'm getting there.**

**3) Yeah? Well screw you!**

**4) We'd win of course, I mean we would have ME on our team.**

**5) I like being addressed as 'Jesus' or 'God' or 'Oh, holy one'**

* * *

MM: Oh god…….superiority complex much? Let's get on with it!

* * *

Takono: OMIGOSH IM FAMOUS! (sparkly eyes)

1. cmon...give her a chance... she'll be the only vampire you'll ever like ;)

2. you have gay dreams?

3. maybe that's because that's the F bomb. YES WE'RE TWINS! x3

Rokuu: so if you dont like vampires... (gesturing she really wants to go out with him)

Takono: rokuu, let him choose.

Rokuu: hey, if it were you against another SANJI fangirl--

Takono: NO! HE MINE!

**Zoro: 1) How about……no?**

**2) Gah! No! Your best friend's brother has gay wet dreams!**

**MM: Who said anything about them being wet dreams?**

**Zoro: Uhhhhh……**

**MM: You haven't been spying on Takono's best friend's brother in his sleep…..have you?**

**Zoro: Next question…..3) F bomb? Change my hair colour back!**

**'NO! HE MINE!' Oh god……you're a cavewoman aren't you?**

* * *

MM: Just keep taking, just keep talking, just keep talking, talking, talking, what do we do? We talk!

* * *

Aquagirl520: Hi MM! And Zoro~~ so, um, I'm back with more questions!!

1)how many times have you tried to escape from MM from now? How did you try to escape and why did you fail?

2)If you can eat an existing devil fruit, which would it be?

3)quick question: Robin or Hancock?

4)Can you take me to prom?

**Zoro: 1) 121, but they all failed because of that stupid fucking alarm!**

**2) I like my ability to swim….**

**3) Robin………..no comment.**

**4) Ummmm…..no. I have a doctors appointment because…..umm….I uh….stabbed myself! *stabs self***

* * *

MM: Kudos to my bro for that last answer hey? More questions!

* * *

Sora Tayuya: OMG Zoro you are totally cool! You are the first coolest member of the Straw Hats (Franky is second). OK, so 1. what is your IQ 2. do you like chocolate? 3. is it true that you sleep a lot to recover stamina for your intense battles 4. how do you plan on getting off of the freakish island with the Ghost Girl on it? 5. who do you think the next member of your crew should be? 6. what should be the new crewmember's job (incase you can't think of anyone you have already met and just think of the future) 7. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN ALABASTA?(i heard some strange rumors...) 8. can i have your autograph 9. what is the exact amount of debt that you currently owe Nami 10. you shouldn't look at the story i'm writing...cus bad things happen to you...and Doflamingo is gonna be pretty evil to you...YAY! YOU'RE SO AWSOME!!

**Zoro: My IQ is a million and seven….And I didn't just make that up.**

**2) I can't stand that sweet sugary crap!**

**3) Uh yeah…..that's the reason *shifty eyes ***

**4) By sacrificing Sanji to the ghost.**

**5) To be honest, I'm happy with my crew now.**

**6) We could use a new cook, I rally don't like our current one.**

**7) I did your mother.**

**8) No**

**9) Any debt to that bitch is too much.**

**10) Well I won't read it then.**

**MM: But I will!**

* * *

Our last questioner…..to finish off the story!

* * *

Aquagirl520: (alright, you can have another shot…..but just this once!)

I know I just reviewed, but these questions are asked by my friend, so:

from 'a shy girl':

1)I look exactly like Robin. Will you marry me?

2)What color is your underwear?

**Zoro: Ok 'Shy girl' I'm not going to marry you, freak.**

**I go commando actually.**

**MM: Once again, that was a fun, successful chapter. Don't forget to keep sending in your questions or poor Zoro here will get tazered. Bye for now, not forever!  
**


	12. Ch 12 Sickness and health

**MM's disclaimer: Do I look like a Japanese man to anybody? No? Well then I must not own One Piece then…….**

**One again we're back to answer all the thrilling and chilling questions you've been throwing at us. I'd like to add a certain one but they sent theirs in as a message and I'm going to be a bitch and say you can only send your questions in as reviews. I'm not feeling well. I get to be mean. Let's get this partay started!

* * *

**

Takono: 1. FINE... by the way, you two are already married...

2. only my best friend's brother WOULD know xD (points to zoro)

3. (makes his hair rainbow) YES! GAY PRIDE! x3

im as much of a caveman as you are a breakdancing pope.

Z**oro: 1) Says you.*sees ring on finger* Holy crap! I'm married!**

**2) ………….next….**

**3) Now change it back to green, and change Sanji's hair to the whole gay pride rainbow and then peace and order will be restored.**

***Dresses up as the pop and starts breakdancing * You are now a caveman.**

* * *

MM: Aww man I feel like crap today……next?

* * *

Uchihaskitlez: MM, please slap some sense into this guy...

1) Zoro, have you ever tried to escape from MM?  
2) If you could switch bodies with one person you have met before, who would it be?

**MM: I'd normally be happy to but I have gastro and I'm feeling quite unwell.**

**Zoro: That's very good! I get off easy this chapter!**

**1) Yes, many times.**

**2) I happen to like my own body very much. A weaker body would be far too limiting.**

* * *

MM: ………………..NEXT!

* * *

archsage328: u didn't answer my last question, so im guessing u can't think of anything. id say ud look awesome in a samurai costume, but hey, that's just my opinion. hope u like this batch:

1. uve proven that u can cut through iron and steel, but have u tried titanium yet?

2. another lesser of two evils: nami bugging u about the debt u owe her or having to hang out with sanji when he's flirting with women?

3. in all the fights uve had with sanji, how many wins, losses, and ties do u have?

4. if u came across one of the giants of elbaf, who turned out to be a swordsman, would u challenge him?

**Zoro: 1) Uh no comment…….**

**MM: He almost broke his swords trying, in other words.**

**Zoro: 2) This Time, Sanji's scenario is the lesser of two evils. With him I can just fall asleep.**

**3) I win all the time. Swords beat feet.**

**MM: Except that time he caught you when you were on the loo. And that time you were asleep. And the time you were giving Nami a hard time….**

**Zoro: SHUT UP! MISCHEIFMAIDEN!!!!!!**

**MM: Hehe…I make him call me that.**

**Zoro: 4) Depends on my mood. If I'd been drinking, no. If I were tired, no. If he made fun of my hair, yes.**

* * *

MM: Aww you know what's coming next anyway. Yall don't need me anymore…

* * *

Sora Tayuya: Ok. I have decided I REALLY THINK THIS IS COOL and will give you more questions for you to answer(because you have no choice: oh that is really hot!)  
1. are you an evening person or a day person? 2. when do you train? 3. gold or silver 4. did you have bad acne as a child 5. what is the worst form of torture that an actual enemy could do to you, NOT including anything with women, your swords, or Sanji (like actual physical or mental tourture a marine or enemy could do to you) 6. i think that Chopper is a cute fluff-ball; what do you think about the cuddly little doctor? 7. i know that you are first mate. would Luffy confide to you about a crush? 8. do you hate women or are you bad with them 9. did you have a previous relationship that caused you to hate women now? 10. if you met someone who acted exactly like Kuina, but didn't really look like her, how would you act towards her(you wouldn't really know for a while, but then it would hit you that 'she acts like Kuina, wow...') 11. what's your favorite animal 12. would you welcome another female crew member by ignoring her, or by hateing her on sight? or anyother response 13. have you ever consitered if you accidentally ate a devil fruit? how would you respond to this, because you would have this random power and *gasp* it may interfer with your ambition to become best swordsman would you do if someone broke Wado, or it got stolen, or used 'wrongly'  
Ok! I'm done for today! GO ZORO!

**Zoro: Holy crap that's a lot of questions…..1) Evening person.**

**2) Everyday**

**3) I don't care much for either.**

**4) Don't you get acne as a teenager? Well I didn't anyway.**

**5) They could always make Smoker undress *shudders ***

**6) He's one of my best friends. I don't mind the guy.**

**7) He has before but then he said he loved his meat more.**

**8) I don't hate women, I just dislike them. And as for not being good with them…why would I even need to be good with them in the first place?**

**9) Ugh, I DON'T HATE WOMEN! And I haven't ever been in a relationship before. I haven't seen the need to be.**

**10) I don't know. It would depend. If she had anything to do with what my crew was trying to do at that moment I might make friends with her.**

**11) I like sharks.**

**12) Again, this depends on her temperament. If she was all bubbly I wouldn't give a damn about her. If she was quiet and smart, I might actually be friends with her.**

**13) Nope. I wouldn't eat one of those. I like my power natural and brute.**

**14) I'd make them wish they had never been born.**

* * *

MM: Holy crap, that was a lot to gt through. But it was still fun!!!!!

* * *

things24: What a minute... did I forget to ask a question? or did MM forget my question again? On with the Q's!

1)If you are Kira... will you say hi to L for me?

2)If you are Kira... why don't you just kill MM since you dislike her so much, unless she outmastered you and you don't have access to your DN and are completely useless at the moment?

3)How do you feel about getting tazered if people don't review?

4)What do you think about Luffy vs. Mihawk, and who do you think would win?

5)Why do you seem OC in the last chapter?

That's all! For now...

**Zoro: 1) Ugh……*uses a high pitched sweet voice * Hi L……**

**2) If I am Kira…couldn't I just kill you?**

**3) Well by the looks of my nipples, I'd say I'm not too happy about the idea. She has very good aim….**

**MM: I have a thing for torturing his nipples. They're totally fried!**

**Zoro: 4) Because mischiefmaiden drugged me.**

* * *

MM: I'm hungry…but I might throw up. Can I eat the questions?

* * *

Whimsicalheart: Oh my gosh! This is hilarious :) keep up the excellent work. Can i ask questions, oh let me ask questions. I'd like to start off on a good foot, MM please be an angel and put ribbons in Zoro's hair. (I never said that i wanted to start on a good foot with Zoro... It's nothing personal, it's just fun)

1. Does MM take you for walkies?  
2. what would you do if you found a real marimo?  
3. I broke the tip of one of your swords using it as a screw driver. Please give me the cost of door hinge that your sword damaged.

**MM: Yay! Someone thinks I made a funny!**

**Zoro: Oh my god…you retard!**

**MM: Well my oh my, where did these ribbons come from? *puts the ribbons in Zoro's hair * now You have gay pride hair and ribbons!!!!!!**

**Zoro: Fuck you……1) No comment.**

**MM: Yes.**

**Zoro: 2) Shove it down mischiefmaiden's throat.**

**3) …………………..WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? That's going to take a whole lot of money to fix that!!!!!!**

* * *

MM: Oh, now I remember why I love writing so much! Neeext!

* * *

DarkDreamer2009: Hi Zoro =^_^=

1. So I must know... Would you date Luffy if it you free from MM? (that means the whole 9 yards with Luffy.)

2. Now that I got that out my steam. Okay I know that you don't hate Sanji. So how much do you dislike him?

3. So have you watch my amv on youtube? if not then you should. (username is the same except its just 09)

thats it for now

**Zoro: 1) I'd date Luffy….Hell I'd even date Sanji!**

**2) I dislike him so much, he usually wakes up off the ship.**

**3) MM made me watch it. It was alright.**

**MM: Alright? I loved it!**

**Zoro: Weirdo….**

* * *

MM: I wish Zoro was more like Trekkie Monster from Avenue Q. Google him!

* * *

Takono (again?): WOAHH! HOLD ON A SEC THERE! you said "I like being addressed as 'Jesus' or 'God' or 'Oh, holy one'" Aren't you an atheist?

**Zoro: I am atheist, but that doesn't mean you can't worship the wonder that is me.**

* * *

MM: ASSHOLE! Questions anyone?

* * *

Shuji Nonohana: Nonohana, here. I'm sorry if my last set of questions were annoying, God. Here is a new set of questions that might (or might not) catch your attention.

1.) Who would lose worse? Cabaji, or Siam of the Meowban alone?

2.) Although Buggy is impervious to slice, would Mihawk beat him with a sword anyway (yes, I'm saying Buggy is weak)?

4.) Do you think Shanks will let Luffy keep the hat?

5.) Was your sensei a good person? Was he wise? I want your personal opinion.

6.) I called you God this time. How's this sucking up joke working for ya?

7.) Did you notice I skipped three?

**Zoro: 1) I don't know…they all suck.**

**2) He might, but I'm pretty sure even Mihawk couldn't kill him. Buggy would just reform.**

**3) I don't know the guy so I wouldn't know.**

**4) He a wise and a good person but sorta sexist.**

**5) Pretty good but you lose points for not using it enough.**

**6) Did you notice I don't care?**

* * *

MM: Last question then we all get to go home and watch porn….I mean uh….I got nothing…

* * *

PeacemakingUnderdog: So, Roronoa, what do ye think of 'Love'?  
And why do you hate Tashigi?

**Zoro: 1) I don't care about Love.**

**2) I don't hate her as much as I think she's down right creepy.**

MM: Well blah blah blah we had fun blah blah blah. Bye for now, Not forever.

Zoro: Oh, she's just grumpy because she's sick. For once! I get to call **her **a grumpy bum! So keep reviewing because if she stays sick, I think this could be quite fun for me.


	13. Ch 13 That mofo's crazy!

**MM's Disclaimer: I'd like to say I owned One piece, but if I do my sumo kitty with squash mw…oh that will hurt…And I'm ano!!!! So I own nothing!**

**MM: Oh man I'm so sorry I didn't update sooner!!! I feel so guilty because there was so many times that I could have but didn't and so I felt like such a bitch but I'm updating now so there's no worries.

* * *

**

* * *

MM: Kicking it off with questions!

* * *

Shuji Nonohana: Okay then, I'll just keep calling you God.

1.) If you had to get a day job other than a pirate, what would you be?

2.) Do you find pleasure in cutting down non-swordsman?

that's all for now, God.

**Zoro: 1) A non pirated swordsman or I'd go back to being a bounty hunter.**

**2) I don't find any honour in that, I don't do it often.

* * *

**

* * *

MM: Omg….my 10 year old brother won three bottles of beer in a church raffle and they let him keep all of them….Oh yeah and more questions.

* * *

Takono: 1. toldja! ooh! she'll be so happy!!

2. IT'S TRUE! YOU'RE HER BROTHER!!

3. nahh. (turns your hair orange) ^^

(trying to hold in laughter)

Usopp: you got it on tape?

Takono: every last bit of it!

Usopp: NICE!! now i can post it on the internet! (pose) i inented the video camera AND the internet!

Chopper: COOL!! (sparkle)

**Zoro: 1) Major don't care**

**2) That's what she thinks.**

**3) Why don't I just shave my head so you stop dying my hair and embarrassing me? What will you do then?!?!?!?**

**MM: Don't mind him, it's the new medication, and I'm all in for the video on the net thing.

* * *

**

* * *

MM: Where am I? What year is it? I like pudding! Oh and questions……

* * *

KurrydaJellydonut: 1) Hey, I'm Takono's friend...and you're my brother :D  
2) I have a feeling you're secretly Sweeney Todd...and you're swords are your "Friends" (shifty eyes)  
3) Please disregard the last statement, because we all know you're Pirelli.  
4) I never knew sword attacks would taste so yummy (Oni Giri/Onigiri? Get it?!?! HAHAHAHHA No.)

--Kurry  
PS- You break dance horribly.

**Zoro: 1) When you say brother, you mean someone you aren't related to at all right?**

**2) So what? Mischeifmaiden thinks her family are her friends but that doesn't make her some weird killer!**

**MM: Hey! I resent that!**

**Zoro: Hear that? It's the sound of no one caring.**

**3) I am NOT Pirelli**

**4) I train and sleep a lot, I'm a hungry guy.**

**P.S: I don't give a crap because even if I was your brother, you're a horrible sibling.**

* * *

MM: And that was Zoro singing I'm a bitch. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you would please stop throwing rotten fruit at him, we'd like to get on with the questions.

* * *

Sora Tayuya: Ha! Yosha! I'm pyched now, and will give you more excellent questions to wrap your brain stems around (oh jeez that sounds painful).  
1. don't you just love the amount of questions i give you? i ignore my classes to think of good ones.  
2. remember Don Clay? what happens to you if he joins the crew(saying he isn't dead)  
3. what do you think of purple? white?  
4. tell me your opinion on psychiotrists  
5. how do you get your huge weights out of the weight room to workout on deck? that opening is way too small...  
6. what is your greatest fear?  
7. what is the exact debt you owe Nami? and what happens if you don't pay it soon?  
8. are your earrings made of real gold? that would be hot...  
9. are you really 19? you look a little older, like 21 or something. maybe you just have a lot of muscle...  
10. what will you do if...-sorry-...when you defeat Mihawk and become world's greatest swordsman?  
11. would it be weird for you if a girl fell in love with you, and you realized it after like a month later? both gushy-ick and serious-deep seperatly  
12. what if i told you that i could read your future? would you be at all interested?  
thoughts on Brooke, seeing that he is a new member and all  
14. Franky. thoughts on...  
i sent you the key to get out of this person's clutches, would you go on a date with my friend?  
16. (serious question)what would happen if your crew betrayed you?

**Zoro: 1) I don't think it's a good idea to ignore your classes just to think of questions, people are dumb enough as they are!**

**2) That's his death sentence then, I don't think he's tough enough.**

**3) Purple is a colour that only looks good when Sanji is dressed in it and white is not a colour, it's a shade.**

**4) I think they're evil people who try to get into people's minds.**

**MM: Hey! I'm gunna become that one of there days!**

**Zoro: I rest my case.**

**5) You have no idea how many times we've had to replace that door opening because of my weights.**

**6) Sock puppets**

**7) Who knows my exact debt? She said she'd tae my thumbs if I don't repay her.**

**8) Yes they are, people are always trying to steal them. Especially Nami.**

**9) It's the alcohol making me look older, I am actually 19.**

**10) I'll call my mother and tell her the good news *rolls eyes * I'll have a party like everyone else!!!**

**11)It might be, depending on the girl of course.**

**12) Nah, I like to be surprised by whatever comes my way.**

**13) He's the weirdest looking thing I've ever seen.**

**14) I just wish Franky would stop wearing a speedo, it gets so weird around him sometimes.**

**15) Yes!!!!! Please tell me you have that key! Whose your friend? I'll date her…or him….**

**16) I'd seek them out and destroy them, it takes a lot to earn my trust.**

* * *

MM: Well that was a good time killer, what else do we have?

* * *

12ichigodragon: HeyZoroSup. 's your favorite beer brand?  
waldo? would win, mihawk or sephiroth? does the scouter say about your power level? luffyand robin were both drowning who would you save first? a barrelroll

**Zoro: 1) They taste all the same to me.**

**2) Up your ass, tried looking there?**

**3) Mihawk**

**4) What scouter? Who do you talk to?**

**5) Luffy, he's the captain.**

**6) You watched Starfox in Iraq didn't you? Why don't YOU do a barrel roll?**

* * *

MM: You do realise this is just filler right? Then wh yare you reading it?

* * *

archsage328: thanks once again. i can think of only two questions this time:

1. there are many different types of swords: longswords, shortswords, rapiers, etc. besides the ones u normally use, wat other types have u used?

2. uve also proven that u can sleep through many situations, such as storms. is there anything that u cannot sleep through, no matter how tired u are?

**Zoro: 1) It doesn't matter much to me what type of sword it is, it just has to be really durable and it'll end up being sentimental so I won't want to pat with it.**

**2) Nami's singing….enough said.**

* * *

MM: Christmas is coming up…..I love Christmas.

* * *

things24: YOU SKIPPED QUESTION 4 EVEN THOUGH QUESTION 5 ANSWER WAS LABLED 4!

1)Do you eat sugar?

**Zoro: Geez sorry, it wasn't my fault mischiefmaiden just happened to be sick still sorta.**

**No, I don't want to be like Luffy.**

* * *

MM: By the way, I'm alive and well, not that anyone cares.

* * *

PeacemakingUnderdog: Awkay..  
So you do not care about 'Love'..  
I'll accept that. So now you don't  
hate her much? I guess I'll understand  
that too. I was just asking cuz well,  
I can't figure out why you hate someone  
who hasn't even done anything wrong to  
you.. I mean she saved yer a**es back  
in Alabasta y'know. Is all.

Questions!  
Where are yer parents?  
Got any bros and sis?

**Zoro: 1) My parents died when I was younger so I grew up roughing it.**

**Nope, lone wolf, I am.**

* * *

MM: hey anyone notice Zoro was starting to sound like Yoda?

* * *

Julia: Zoro... U're not gay? HAHA, man u can't lie. At all. Can't u hear how obvious it sounds? "hi i'm zoro and i think that luffy is handsome and i would date him by My own Will!" lol. But well, i won't blame you. Love is a nice thing. Now i have some new sexy questions.  
1: how did you take your holes in your ear, and why?  
2: Ain't that kinda gay?  
3: i'm writing this in My phone, did you know that when i try to write zoro it stands "worm". Zoro = worm. And it's true.

Love Julia

**Zoro: Ugh, I'm not gay yah hear?**

**1) I had it done by a professional.**

**2) Ain't you kinda gay?**

**MM: Zoro, just shut up, you don't have anymore good comebacks to hit people with.**

**Zoro: 3) Screw your phone, I aint no worm!**

* * *

MM: Shh, my monocle is talking to me!

* * *

WingedDevilGirl: hi. i'm the one the evil takono was talking about, and for the record, you're not really married, zoro. just awesome. sorry 'bout the mix-up. =)

**Zoro: Sure, whatever. I don't really care.**

* * *

**MM: That was so fun after all this time! Tune in (yes, tune in to something you read) next time for more Zoro humiliation. R & R! Bye for now, not forever!**


	14. Ch 14 Unfunny

**MM's disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, One Piece owns me.**

**MM: I'm a horrible writer! I know! I haven't updated for a while because honestly….I forgot about everyone! Sorry. Let's get this show on the road!!!**

* * *

**MM: First up…..this guy!**

Takono: NOO DON'T LISTEN TO WINGED DEVIL GIRL! YOU TWO ARE MARRIED!! (shoots a cupid arrow in yer butt) do you love her yet~? ^^

You really can't breakdance... COUGHPIRELLICOUGH (run)

**Zoro: 1) Ugh, I don't love her, and that stupid arrow is gonna leave a scar in my butt! I hope you're happy. And by the way. I can breakdance just fine.**

* * *

Pom Rania: Zoro-kami-sama, I totally love you but I won't invade your personal space or do anything to your hair.

1. If you had a dog, what would it be like?

2. Which DF power do you think is the most useful for combat?

3. Which DF power do you think is the most useful outside of combat?

4. Someone made an AMV of you and the rest of the crew doing the Caramelldansen dance. Any opinions?

5. Who's the best artist in the crew?

6. Does Luffy's grandfather freak you out? (Not necessarily scare you, just weird you out.)

7. How well would you be able to fight if you couldn't use your arms?

8. And on a related note... can you write with a pen in your mouth?

Here, have a few meatballs to snack on and some cream for your tazed nipples.

**Zoro: Finally someone normal! You're normal….right?**

**1) It would be not too big, not too small and it would have attitude.**

**2) Ace's power is great for fighting….except in the rain.**

**3) Robin's would be. You can have all those arms at once. It'd be a life saver!**

**4) Usopp, Chopper and Luffy actually did that dance once, but I never would. That AMV is stupid.**

**5) Usopp**

**6) He's strange, but so is Luffy.**

**7) Not well I imagine**

**9) I've never tried, I don't want ink in my mouth.**

**Thanks for the Meatballs, theyr're good and the cream really helped.**

* * *

WingedDevilGirl: why is zoro so mean when asked certain questions?

**Zoro: Becase I'm mean. That's how I roll.**

**MM: Nonsense, last night I snapped a pic of you sleeping with a teddy bear and sucking your thumb. That's hardly mean.**

**Zoro: I'm gonna kill you one day.**

**MM: I'd like to see you try.**

* * *

Archsage328: alright then...next batch:

1. um...is nami that bad of a singer? cause i heard a version of everyone singing "we are" except franky and brook, as well as "bink's sake" and in my mind, none of u were bad at all.

2. also, if nami was standing right behind u when u said that, how much trouble would u be in?

3. wats the most hilarious thing uve ever seen?

4. wat opponent did u have the most fun fighting?

im runnin out of ideas as to wat to ask, so im gonna need to brainstorm a bit for next time

**Zoro: 1) That wasn't really her voice.**

**2) My debt would go up by a whole lot.**

**3) Sanji fall off the side of the ship**

**4) It's not as fun as you think when you're fighting. I never have fun because of all the adrenaline.**

* * *

WhimsicalHeart: Another excellent session :) i'm also questioning on my phone but when i type in Zoro my phone gives me worn, them worn. I don't know about the second but i guess you may be worn out... MM must be, shame it's a lot of hard work keeping you. Glad to hear you're better MM. Now after my long ramble on to the questions.  
1. This is the main english line in a hindi song i'm listening to and it's so funny that i can't resist. Your pappi says you love me. Your mammi says you love me so love me baby love me.  
2. I have brought glitter as well as ribbons. MM, can i ask you a favour? Make him look pretty :) so Zoro what do you think of the gay pride march? I put your name down for it. I don't think you're gay, just fun to tease :)  
3. I also brought a marimo.  
4. Do you read/watch manga/anime  
5. Will you invite me to your victory party once you've beaten hawk eyes?  
6. What will you guys do when you reach the one piece? Please don't say disband.  
7. What will you guys do when you reach the one piece to stop nami from hogging it all?

**MM: Yay! Thanks, I'm all better and to be honest, with all the chains and cages I have it's not that difficult to keep him!**

**Zoro: Ugh….let's get this done with.**

**1) …………..Yes…..good for you and that Hindi song.**

**MM: WhimsicalHeart…..I think I just fell in love with you! This will be fun, he'll be pretty next chapter!**

**Zoro: No!!!!!**

**2) I'm alright with gays, gay pride is alright but if you think I'm going to actually going to march in that stupid parade, then you have another thing coming!**

**3) Fuck. You.**

**4) Not really, I'm always busy being a pirate.**

**5) I won't even have a party.**

**6) No, we won't disband but we might not have as many cool adventures.**

**7) Hehehe…..SEDATION NATION!!!!!!!!!!!!**

* * *

Shuji Nonohana: 1.) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if it had your Wado?  
2.) Why do bad comedians even try?  
3.) And why do they always make jokes about airline food? Those people only have a limited amount of time to make a meal for others.

That's all, God.

**Zoro: 1) I don't know, but I'd kill it if it had my Wado.**

**2) Because they're mommies told them they could make it if they really really tried, but they just couldn't.**

**3) See my answer above and then add a nice comment about airline food and you have my answer to this question.**

* * *

Na-Chan: Hi hi Mr. Swordsman!  
Na-Chan here and I have a couple of questions to ask you~

1) During Arabasta, after your fight with Mr. 1, did Nami find you or did you find her?

2) If you had to stay with either Nami or Sanji for a whole say by yourselves, who would you rather stay with?( Oh yeah, if you stayed with Nami for a whole day, shopping with her, she'll get rid of your debt.)

3) What is your opinion about all of the Strawhat Pirates? (including ViVi)

4) If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

5) How do you think the manga/anime would be like if Sanji wasn't the cook?

6) How much money do you owe Nami now?

7) What would you do if Nami let you see her "Happiness Punch" for free?

8) How do you think the anime/manga would be like without Luffy as captain or Nami as the navigator?

9) Out of the 5 (or whatever number of swords you had) swords you have/had, which do you like most?

10) How long have you and the Strawhat Crew been on the Grandline?

And that's all... I think. ^^; Anyway, if you answer all of these, maybe I can convince Sanji to leave the crew or Nami to release your debt. =O

**Zoro: 1) She found me, I don't really have a good sense of direction.**

**2) Nami, because I'd get to clear my debt and I could tune out all I want without having ot choke on cigarette smoke.**

**3) Luffy is crazy, but has a heart of gold, Nami is a cold hearted bitch but is a great navigator, Usopp is like Luffy only more frightened, Chopper is like a little brother to me, Robin is the sanest one, Franky is freaky in the speedo and Brook is one of the strangest people I've come across.**

**4) To wherever Mihawk is and defeat him.**

**5) I'd be skinnier, that's for sure.**

**6) Too much**

**7) For my money, I don't want to.**

**8) Well think. How different do you think it would be without me?**

**9) Wado Ichimonji.**

**10) Too long....**

* * *

**MM: This chapter has been pretty unfunny, but hopefully next chapter will be better. R & R. Bye for now, not forever!**


	15. Ch 15 Getting back in the swing

**MM's disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, if I did it might be a hentai!**

**MM: It didn't take as long as it did before even though my old computer died!!!! I'll try to make this one a bit funnier than last time. Let's get this party started!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

* * *

Sora Tayuya: It was unfunny... because I forgot to give some questions last chapter. That is definitly why. So now, here they are:

1)Have you heard of Doflamingo? One of the seven shichibukai. I'll warn you that he's a freak, so if you met him, would you beat him to a pulp?(for me)  
2)So...what will you do after you defeat Mihawk? Other than throw a rediculously huge part.  
3)Is it really true what she said, about you with that teddy bear?  
4)Luffy is drowning in the ocean, and Nami is closer to you but being suffocated my a marine. Who would you pick?(remembering what Luffy would think if you let Nami die)

I gotta tell you here, you are missing one heck of a battle there in Marineford. And Mihawk is there too...

5)If you are stuck in a cage here...how will you defeat Mihawk? Will you ever get out? You really should think about the conciquences of your actions, you know.  
6)Would you get really ticked off if you ate a devil fruit on accident?

You know what you should do? You should get the handles of your swords fixed with SeaStone linings, so that you can get in hits on annoying fruit users, like Buggy, and Smoker.

7)...I forgot what I was going to say...darn.

**Zoro: 1) I've heard of him somewhere, but I won't beat him up for you. If he hasn't done anything to piss me off I won't bother. I'm no hitman.**

**2) A lot of people ask me that, I'm going to sleep a hell of a lot and I'm also going to get drunk a lot. Do you have any ideas on what I could do?**

**3) O-of course not! Mischeifmaien was lying to you!**

**MM: I'll send you the pictures if you want!!! He looks so cute!**

**Zoro: I hate you so much….**

**MM: I love me too!**

**Zoro: 4) I'd save Luffy and he'd probably kill the marine himself, he's a quick guy.**

**5) I'm sure mischiefmaiden will be kind enough to release me soon. I need to defeat Mihawk and if sh keeps getting in my way I might have to kill her.**

**MM: …………….Don't make me put the car batteries on your nipples again.**

**Zoro: Yes ma'am!**

**6) Yes I would get ticked off, I don't want to be doomed to a life without being able to swim! That is a good idea although I wouldn't know where to get the seastone from.**

**7) Good for you…..**

* * *

Marsenmonkey: To one Roronoa Zoro:

I'm a big fan. But...

1)There is no such thing as god. Stop trying to get people to reference you as such.

2)I have noticed that every single sword that you have had, without fail, has become damaged beyond repair. Except for Wado Ichimonji. What about the sword makes it so resilient?

3)Hypothetical/future situation:  
You have already beaten Mihawk and there's no way anyone can challenge you for "Greatest Swordsman" title. You come across a DF and inadvertently eat it, not quite realizing what it is until it's too late. What is the best case scenario here? As in, what would that DF ability that you have now gained most ideally be? And don't pull that wussy excuse shit about "I wouldn't eat one in the first place." That's just taking the spineless way out.

4)Just so you know, you have at least twice as many fangirls as Sanji. Easily. No, at least 3-4x more. Feel free to lord it over Sanji that, with all his hard work, you can still get more girls without doing shit. Congratulations. :D

5)Have you ever received a classical education? If no, did your dojo require you to learn anything other than swordsmanship and basic reading/writing/math skills?

6)Do you ever read for entertainment? If so, any books that you particularly enjoy? Anything written and bound counts.

7)Each member of the Strawhat crew has joined with a significant dream or goal in mind and taken a very unique position on the crew. Further more, you guys are very tight knit and know each other rather well (I would imagine). Do you ever see the Strawhat crew getting too big to have this kind of intimate (not romantic!) relationship with all the crew members? I'm talking about not just 10-20 more people, but enough to need a new ship or two.

8)Out of curiosity, do you know why the bedrooms are so badly designed on the Thousand Sunny? I took a look at the blueprints and realized that this is very little room for new crew members. Also, y'all need real beds. I can't imagine that hammocks are good for the back.

That's about it for today. Also, I advise that you take up lock picking as a hobby. Here's a starter kit for you, with a basics manual.

Sincerely,  
Marsnmonkey

**Zoro: 1) If people wish to see me as a god, then they can.**

**MM: Well I think the reviewer is right, God doesn't exist. You aren't god. Ha ha!**

**Zoro: I AM A GOD AND THAT'S FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**2) Wado is a lot stronger than the other swords I've had.**

**3) I'd want the fruit Buggy had I guess, it would make sure my title couldn't be stolen.**

**4) I already knew that. Sanji couldn't have many fangirls anyway. I mean look at him, he's so ugly!**

**5) What I know I've learnt form living on the streets and in the dojo.**

**6) Books don't really interst me too much.**

**7) I'm not sure about that, but Luffy has said before that he wanted to run a tight ship so I don't think the crew would get that big.**

**8) Hammocks aren't so bad to sleep in once you get used to them.**

**MM: I confiscated that lock picking kit, he's not getting out anytime soon.**

* * *

Things24: Are you not answering my questions, or do I keep forgeting?

1) What would happen if you blamed someone for taking your sword, but in fact you just simply misplaced them?

**Zoro: I think you might be forgetting, because I'm sure I'm answering all the questions.**

**1) I'd apologise reluctantly.**

* * *

WingedDevilGirl: i has more questions...

1. do you like waffles?

2. if i had to torture you in the worst way possible, what would that be?

3. if i did torture you via the internet, would you rather sit there and watch what i make you watch, or kiss MM for a few minutes...? XD

4. please ignore takono's 'love cries.' she's guilty about having sanji and wants me to have someone.

**Zoro: 1) Yes, I like waffles.**

**MM: Do you like pancakes?**

**Zoro: Yes…..I like pancakes.**

**MM: Do you like French toast?**

**Zoro: Yes!!!! I like French toast!!**

**MM: I love that song……**

**Zoro: You're a complete idiot…..**

**If I told you, I'd have to kill you.**

**………….I can't decide! Those are both horrible options!**

**MM: Kiss MM, kiss MM!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Zoro: 4) I don't know who to believe now……**

* * *

Takahashi Kiki: Konichiwa, Zoro-san! I hope you don't mind if I call you that. I have a couple of questions for you. I apoligize if they annoy you.

1. If you could be one of the 7 deadly sins, which one would you be and why?

2. If you hate Sanji that much, why do you always help him with dishes when he asks you to? And I know you do. I've seen it happen.

3. If MM dragged you off to an anime convention, what would you do? And MM, what would be the first panel you would take him to? Your options are: A) Yaoi Discussion Panel B)Cream a Cosplayer (You get to throw pies at two cosplayers.) or C) Anime Dating Game.

**Zoro: 1) sloth, does it really need to be explained?**

**2) Because even though I dislike him, he's still part of the crew.**

**I would shoot myself.**

**MM: You would not! I can't decide between the yaoi discussion or the Anime Dating Game.**

* * *

Takono: aww, Zoro with a teddy bear sucking his thumb? aww! cute! i must have it! x3

hey Zoro, what do you want for hanukkah/christmas? :D

**Zoro: Shut up about the bear.**

**1) I want to get out of here. That's what I want for Christmas!**

* * *

Archsage328: sometimes it is hard to think of more questions, so i don't have that many this time around:

1. what would u do if luffy used one of ur swords as a shishcabob spear?

2. who is the fastest runner on the ship under normal circumstances? (for example: usopp, nami, or chopper running in fear, nami towards a help urself goldmine, or luffy towards an all u can eat meat buffet would NOT be normal circumstances)

3. who would be the fastest given the right motivation or trigger (examples from above)?

**Zoro: 1) I'd use my swords as spears and spear him.**

**Usopp is the fastest runner of everyone, he's had a lto of practice at it.**

**Luffy, hands down.**

**

* * *

  
**

**MM: This chapter turned out better than I thought it would! Thanks for reading! R & R! Bye for now, not forever!**


	16. Ch 16 Need a little mental help?

**MM: I don't own One Piece, One Piece owns me.**

**MM: First update in 2010! I bet people thought we'd be in hover cars by 2010 but we aren't……I can always dream though! Now for our first batch of futuristic questions!!!!!**

* * *

Sora Tayuya: Yay, first reviewer! Onto the horrible questions:

1) I think that you have Haki. If you do, then you could bust out of here like Reighley did at the slave auction.

Too bad you're not out in the world right now, they're having a Jump Festival this weekend in Japan, and Oda himself was there!

2) What would you do if you found out that either Nami or Robin had a crush on you? Tell me your opinions if you found out one or the other did.  
3) Is it just me, or is the Franky/Robin combo very...weird?  
4) What if you had to get glasses? Would you be able to have contacts...and if not, then how would you be able to swordfight? That would be a really weak way of beating you...just because you couldn't see...

Oh, lady, you should get a pic of Zoro in that rediculous shirt in the Water 7 fillers when he is babysitting for the large woman who is the orphan person, and Zoro has to take care of like 3 tiny babies while wearing a girly shirt. Tape it above his head in the cage you keep him in. And mail it to Sanji.

5)Would you pay me if Sanji started fawning over me, then I told him that he was ugly and to stop hitting on me?  
6)If you could meet Oda, what would you tell him/ask him? You cannot ask that he release you from your imprisonment right now.  
7)I am sending you your Christmas gift (because no one should be captured and tortured with evil questions on Christmas): Your cute and cuddly teddy bear! Aw!  
8)What would you do if you walked around a corner somewhere on the Sunny one night and you saw me and Franky making out?

**Zoro: 1) I do have Haki, but unfortunately it doesn't work on mischiefmaiden.**

**2) It would be odd if either one had romantic feelings for me because one is a maniacal, bossy, money grubbing bitch and the other is a boring cowgirl.**

**3) I don't think I could ever see that pairing work. Their too different. *****shudders***

**4) I don't know many ways of getting contacts of the grand line but that annoying marine that mischiefmaiden wants me to date seems to do pretty well with glasses apart from her ridiculous clumsiness.**

**5) Women do that every day of his life. If you did it, it wouldn't be that different.**

**6) I would ask him why he made a character like Sanji or Tashigi.**

**7) A teddy bear…..what could a notorious swordsman possibly do with a teddy bear?**

**MM: You could sleep with it like the last one that you accidentally tore to shreds in your sleep.**

**Zoro: Yeah….accidentally….**

**8) I would wonder how the hell you got on the ship and depending on how old you are, I'd call Franky a pedo.**

**MM: That's a good idea actually, I like that picture with the babies and the shirt..........Mama Zoro!**

* * *

Shuji Nonohana: Morning, God. I have brought you some Tacos.

1.) What's your favorite holiday?

2.) Are you a big eater?

3.) What do you want most for Christmas?

4.) Are you mad that I forgot to get you anything for you?

We all worship the one true Zoro.

**Zoro: Finally! A reviewer I actually like! Thanks for the tacos.**

**1) My birthday is a holiday.**

**2) Not really, it depends on the food.**

**3) Suicide pills in case I don't get out of here.**

**4) You gave me tacos……I guess that's good enough.**

**Damn straight you worship me.**

* * *

Pom Rania: 1. a) What do you want for Christmas? Other than "to get away from MM".  
b) What's the weirdest present you got last year?

2. What do like ON your waffles/pancakes/French toast? Such as, syrup, butter, jam, strawberries, etc.

3. Assume Luffy is somewhere else. If the rest of the crew was in trouble and you were the only one free, who would you rescue first so they can help rescue the others?

4. Because I'm slightly morbid: if you died, what would you want done with your swords? (No threat implied; most people don't realize that, so I have to say it.)

5. What DF would you find ideal for your non-DF'ed crewmates to eat?

6. If you could give each of your crewmates a T-shirt with a phrase on it (awkward way of putting it), what would they say?

**Zoro: 1a) Well I want a pony and a rocking horse and a spaceship and a teddybear……What do you think I want? There isn't anything else I could possibly want more than to get out of here!**

**1b) The weirdest present I got last year was a piece of meat on a stick from Luffy….and then he took it from me and ate it. What a thoughtful gift.**

**2) Butter on my French Toast and syrup on my pancakes and waffles.**

**3) Robin, because of her power.**

**MM: Not any other reason?**

**Zoro: Well there is no other reason!**

**MM: Sure sure…..**

**Zoro: Women….**

**4) They'd get buried with me I suppose. Unless I had some sort of an apprentice.**

**5) Nami would need to eat one that stops her from talking and I'm not sure about Usopp. Sanji would get one to enhance his cooking skills, maybe he'd get the one Robin ate. Franky doesn't need one, he's SUPA enough as it is.**

**6) Luffy's would be 'If I only had a brain'**

**Nami's would be 'Bow down to me.'**

**Usopp's would have something that would scare him on it**

**Sanji's would be 'Little kids turn me on.'**

**Chopper's would be 'Trust me, I'm a professional.'**

**Robin's would have a giant book an under it would be 'GIANT NERD!'**

**Franky's would have a dude in a speedo.**

**Brook's would have 'I do NOT throw up everything I eat, I'm just skinny!'**

* * *

archsage328: I've got more questions, so you better get ready!

1. If you could, would you have an aerial sword-fight with mihawk?

2. In your opinion, if Chopper had a bounty that actually suited him, what would it be?

3. Are you a fan of comedy (in general, not just if people you don't like are the butts of the jokes)?

4. Have you ever considered taking on an apprentice?

**Zoro: 1) I don't see how that would work very easily.**

**2) Chopper's would be difficult to set because he looks cute until he eats a rumble ball, then he looks and acts ferocious.**

**3) Comedy is good, everyone needs a laugh now and then.**

**I have considered that, but I think that would make me seem old.**

* * *

Takono: hmm... torture Zoro? this is why winged devil girl is my bffl :D

(grabs him) oh zoro~ theres a mistletoe above us~ care to carry on the tradition~? (pulls his head closer)

**Zoro: 0.o PISS OFF! *runs away***

* * *

Winged Devil Girl: hey, fuzzhead, i'm back, but this is the last time.

1. any new year's resolutions?

2. sorry'bout takono. IGNORE HER.

3. make you watch ZoSan or Makeout with MM?

**Zoro: 1) Yeah, to get out of here, defeat Mihawk and kick Sanji's ass.**

**2) Ummmmm…..ok**

**3) ……………..Make out with that evil witch who makes me stay in this cage day in, day out.**

**MM: I like that idea. Thanks WDG!**

* * *

Winged Devil Girl (alright, I'll answer you twice in one chapter, but just this once): *pulls Zoro out from under mistletoe* Takono, what would Sanji think if you kissed fuzzhead? *takes mistletoe and puts over his and MM's heads* Merry X-mas!

and, for the finale...

I DO NOT LIKE YOU. TAKONO IS LYING. MAKING THAT CLEAR NOW. and Takono, torture him again and i will get you in your sleep. plus...eh. screw it. *dissappear*

**Zoro: You know what? Both you and Takono need desperate mental help. Yeah so go get it……….**

**MM: That was a great chapter. Don't forget to R & R! Bye for now, not forever!**


	17. Ch 17 Xoro gets inspirational!

**MM's disclaimer: I don't own One piece. Nor does my friend. If she did, there would be yaoi.**

**MM: Yeah, it hasn't been long since I last updated so not everyone will gte their questions in but I really need something to do. Ahh…..such is the life of a 15 year olf Australian when it's too hot to do anything…..I just gave too much about myself away! OH NO!**

* * *

WhimsicalHeart: Happy new year :) and what a great way to start it. you two never cease to amuse me ^.^ i'm feeling quite mellow today. And i come bearing gifts :) *hands mm virtualy choccies, practical joke box(to make Zoro's stay more interesting) and sake* all alcohol to be dished out at mm's discretion of course. Shame a new year, wonder how long you'll stay here. Not that i mind, interrogation is fun to watch ;)

1. If you were ever decided to study (as in academically) what would you study and why?  
2. Have you ever considered going on holiday and where to?  
3. What advise would you give to an aspiring samurai?  
4. Do you want to learn new languages  
5. Have you ever considered a map and compass or does the fact that you can get lost in straight lines make them useless?  
7. Did you know that your finger nails grow nearly four times faster than your toe nails?  
8. Did you notice that i skipped 6 in the numbering?

I think i'll leave you alone for know. MM will make sure you don't get lonely :)

**Zoro: Great….you give her chocolate that she'll gorge herself on, a practical joke kit that she'll use to torture me and sake that she'll drink herself! This is going off to a great start…..**

**1) I've always found history interesting so I'd probably study that.  
**

**2) If I could get out of here, even being locked in a room with Tashigi would seem like a holiday.**

**3) My advice is join a dojo and keep training until you become really strong. Never give up if you truly believe that being a samurai is your calling.**

**MM: That was inspiring…….how long did it take you to come up with that?**

**Zoro: I was up until about 2, maybe 3 this morning.**

**MM: Oh…….**

**Zoro: 4) I've always thought of learning another language but I never have the time.**

**5) I don't know how to read a map or how a compass works.**

**6) Well no but that's a pretty useless fact anyway.**

**7) Yes, It was rather confusing.**

**I'd rather not be alone with her for any great periods of time!**

**MM: Haha……he said periods…..**

**Zoro: See what I mean?

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**

Feral Inari: Wow MM, these questiona and answer sections are great - cheer me up after a crappy day at work!!

Yoroshiku onegai shimasu Zoro-sama! hope MM is keeping you well (:S car batteries and nipples... sounds like a nasty combination :S)

Ok here are my questions

1) If someone stole your swords and put them in 3 different locations after Wadou which would you search for next and why?

2)has Sandai Kitetsu started behaving for you yet? or will a cursed sword never settle down no matter how skilled the weilder is?

3)When you beat Mihawk will you visit Kuina's grave to tell her you kept your promise?

4) If you could wish one moment of torture on Sanji what would it be?

5) Does Sanji's curly eyebrow freak you out as much as it freaks me out? ... seriously how in the hell do you end up with a curly brow? ... maybe its a birth defect.

Arigatou gozaimasu Zoro-san

Keep up the writing MM!! It's great! XD

**MM: You have no idea how happy that makes me! I love all my reviewers!!!! Champagne for everyone!**

**Zoro: You're underage….**

**MM: That doesn't stop my friends.**

**Zoro: ………….Whatever. Oh and car batteries and my nipples are a VERY dangerous mix. THEY NEED REST I TELL YOU!**

**1) I'm not sure, they're both valuable to me but I don't know which one I'd want to find first.**

**2) It will come around eventually, I'm sure.**

**3) Yes, I know her spirit is watching over me and she'll be happy that I fulfilled my promise.**

**4) To be captured and tortured by mischiefmaiden.**

**MM: Now, now Zoro, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!**

**Zoro: 5) Yes it does…..I mean seriously he's some sort of freak or something. Next time I see him asleep I'm gonna try to burn it off!

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eternitybeckons: MM great job at these. I laughed myself silly reading them.  
Sup zoro. i'm not here to torture you just ask some questions.  
1) are you interested (not in a sexual way) to meet akagami no Shanks and his crew after you learned that its because of him that Luffy set out to find One Piece. (people can argue this fact but a)he gave him the hat and without it he wouldbnt be mugiwara no Luffy. b)he may have wanted to be a pirate before hand but its because of his promise with Shanks that he set out to become the pirate king).

2)would you be interested in challanging Shanks to a duel, considering he stood on equal ground as Mihawk?

3)On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you going to make fun of Sanji for his little Okama adventure?

4)if one piece was a mid-evil time frame story, what would you be? (a prince, knight, assasine, ect...) and what do you think every one else would be (all the mugiwara as well as friends from the past)

5)if you had the opertunaty to train with Mihawk for a whole day would you? and during this day you can't fight to gain his title, only train with him and spare, as well as observe his fighting style and moves.

6)this isn't a question, just some random stuff. Your battles are amazing and the ones i look forward most to seeing both the anime and manga. your also my third favorite character.

MM just a request. Beccause we are in a new decade, why dont you let Zoro off the hook for a while and not taze/torture him? Anyway happy new year to the both of you ^-^

**Zoro: 1) It might be interesting to meet the guy Luffy always reminisces about.**

**2) Perhaps, but I'm sure Luffy would want a fight first.**

**3) 10, I'm never going to let him live that down.**

**4) Well I guess I might be a night, Luffy……..The Jester perhaps along with Usopp, Sanji would be the royal cook to Princess Nami and Queen Robin and I guess Franky and Brook would be a guard and a musician. Or something like that. Oh and Chopper would be a royal doctor, that's a given.**

**5) Of course I would! Any chance to train with him is a chance to get better!**

**6) I'm only third? That's a insult!**

**MM: He's just being a baby. And it's the new decade! Isn't that a call for more humiliating torture? Happy New Year anyway.

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**

Shuji Nonohana: God deserves no less than the best, so I've brought you food one level above tacos. I have brought you Burritos now!

1.) How good would you be with one sword at your current level?

2.) All of a sudden, a weirdo comes in and tells you to eat burritos! Your mama told you not to accept food from strangers. What do you do?

3.) Who on your crew seems the most Narcissistic?

4.) Three of your crewmates are hanging on the edge of the ship. You only have two hands. The three crewmates are Nami, Franky, and Usopp. Which two do you save?

I'll bring something different next time. Would you like to place an order?

**Zoro: Thanks, but burritos are going to give me a bad case of the runs……**

**1) I'm not sure how good I'd be with one sword, but I'm guessing I'd be better than most swordsmen.**

**2) I'd kick their asses, no one gives me food that I don't want!**

**3) Sanji or Nami, I haven't decided yet.**

**4) Usopp and Franky, I don't want to have a debt on my hands. Haha, just joking. **

**An order…….A truckload of French Toast would be nice.

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**

Sora Tayuya: ...Arg! This is hard. I drank too much Pepsi, I have to memorize a ten paragraph poem by tomorrow, I have to do three math sets of 30 questions each, I have to research the Satsuma Rebellion of 1877, and I have to write a five page essay on the culture of Japan with title page and works cited page with five+ sources. AND ITS ALL DUE TOMORROW. ...haha, Zoro. If I sprung you out, you'd have to do all of this homework for me as payment. Hehe, now here are real questions:

1) Someone asked last time, but I'm curious too. Do you think that you would get an apprentice after you beat Mihawk?(if you ever beat him, that is) Since you wouldn't have much left to do, you'd probably want to train someone to take your place, right? Plus, Brooke doesn't have the same sword style as you.

-gosh that question was too long, deep and personal. Blech.

2) What is the single most annoying thing that Luffy has ever done to you?  
3) If you got into another fight with Luffy, what would it be about and who would win?

-- Ha, Luffy is at (super secret location that would kill your brain if you knew) and he just found Mr. 2 aka Bon Clay. The Okama dude. And he pretended to be you. It was so creepy, I almost vomited right there.

4)Tell me three decent reasons you may go insane, not including anything about Nami or Mischeifmaiden, or you being imprisoned right now by said lady.  
5)If you found someone who looked like they were a prisoner on a ship that attacked the Sunny, would you save them if they asked you? Or would you think that they are tricking you? Tell me your response to them.  
6)What would you do if (somehow) Franky convinced Luffy, Sanji, Usopp, Chopper, and Brooke to wear speedos and pose with him? Describe in great detail, for this is a very disterbing mental image. (Sanji would be convinced that it made ladies love him)

**Zoro: Ha, sucks to be you. I'm glad mischiefmaiden won't let you spring me out!**

**1) I might, but then again it would make me feel old. Maybe in a few years.**

**2) We were having a shower together to save water and he kept poking me in the butt.**

**MM: 0.o Zoro……I don't think he was just poking you in the butt……**

**3) Probably about food, and of course I'd win.**

**4) Sanji, Marine women and getting lost.**

**5) I might, but it would be up to Luffy. I can't bring anyone on board without his permission.**

**6) I would just vomit over the side of the ship. And probably have nightmares for the next three months.

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**

archsage328: another update, another batch of questions:

1. When I said aerial swordfight, I meant like the kind you often see in bleach. So if you could, would you?

2. If you had Mr. 2's Devil Fruit power, what kind of pranks would you play on your crewmates?

3. If it turned out your captor had that power, how scared would you be right about now?

4. I got this idea from kingdom hearts. If you were to rearrange the letters in your name and add an X, what would you prefer that your new name be?

**Zoro: 1) It would be too much hassle. There'd be no point.**

**2) I'm not really a prank playing guy, but I'd prank Sanji a whole lot with Nami and Robin faces.**

**3) You have no idea…….I'd have to go into hiding.**

**4) I wouldn't really rearrange letters in my name, I'd just change it to Xoro.

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**MM: Well once again, a very successful chapter! Keep those reviews coming people! We always love to hear from you! Bye for now, not forever!**


	18. Ch 18 The filthy chapter

**MM's disclaimer**: I do not own One Piece but I do own Roronoa Zoro's soul! Mwahahahaha!

**MM**: Well it's been 3 long and daunting years and I'd be surprised if anyone is still checking this story but we're back! A lot has happened on 3 years. Zoro got away and it took me sooooooo long to track him down! And Then I went through a really bad breakup, got with someone better, got engaged to someone better, graduated high school, and even got a full time job! I feel so bad for just abandoning this, but hopefully people can find it in their hearts to forgive me?

* * *

Our first question of the day comes from far far away…

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**Sora Tayuya**: Ha! I mentioned you in my presentation, Zoro! I said that you were like an amazing bushido and you were an example! Yay ;)  
K, so...what should I ask...gosh, I don't have much to ask today.  
1) If you could pick an alternate universe to be in (including a game world or another anime world), where would you go? ...DO NOT SAY 'anywhere without MM'  
2) So...what if it turns out that Tashigi is...well...actually Kuina? In some remote, small possiblity that she lost her memory and became clumsy due to her fight when you thought she died? How would you think that would work out?  
Ug...I'm so boring today. You should tazer him, MM, just to improve my sluggish mood. Aww, now I feel bad about saying that 'cus Zoro is my favorite character...LUV TO ZORO! (not fangirl)

**Zoro**: Well I am an example aren't I?

1) An alternate universe and MM has to be there? Well then I'd probably have to say the universe where there are no drugs and women have to be monitored at all times. That's a good universe.

2) You do know they open coffins at funerals right? Kuina died and Tashigi is just a coincidental doppelganger. Kuina strived to be the best, Tashigi just wants to take people's expensive swords No frigging tazering!

**MM:** Nawwwwww Zoro's being a little bitch after running away for so long. You should be happy you weren't punished more than you were for that stunt!

* * *

**Shuji Nonohana**: I have French Toast for God, and Cereal for MM. I'm giving Syrup to God for his French Toast, and Milk to MM for her cereal. I'm giving MM some tape, and God a megaphone to amplify his voice. The combo of these two items sorta makes the megaphone useless though...

1.) Does it disturb you that technology is advanced enough to make energy cannons and Pacifistas, but not advanced enough to make actual telephones?  
2.) Do you know anyone who owns a Den Den Mushi as a pet instead of a phone?  
3.) The Shichibukai are named after animals (except Kurohige). What animal would you be named after?  
Place your orders, Shuji Nonohana will get what you need!

**MM:** OMNOMNOM CEREAL I WAS SO HUNGRY THANK YOU!

**Zoro**:…Nice work minion, next time just lace her cereal with sugar why don't you?

**MM**: Zoro, don't be so mean. You got what you wanted and you scoffed it faster than…..something really fast.

**Zoro: *facepalms***

1) Technology is weird because where I'm from we have things like that but where you come from you have phones that don't even have buttons. I don't understand how that works. Why are people so interested in a little black block?

**MM**: He means an iPhone.

**Zoro**: 2) I think it would take a very strange person to keep one as a pet, the same kind of idiot who would keep a hairless cat or a pet rock.

3) Probably something named after a shark. Or sometimes a bear. I like sharks better though.

**MM**: I don't see why. Bears are so cute with their little noses and cute big paws and ears that are so fluffy!

**Zoro:** Yeah, they're especially cute when they're ripping your face off.

**MM**: Meanie head…

**Zoro**: Hush little wuss.

* * *

**Takono**: you sure? (kiss)  
...(grabs his collar and shakes hiim back and forth) YOU JUST REALIZED THAT NOW? (lets go) and he thinks 'I' need mental help.  
but axel DOES love you! shes just shy!

**Zoro:** Why do all the crazy people have to talk to me? I am sure, go back to your mental home and talk to the old guy that thinks you're a marine biologist or something. Oh and Axel does, bitch please, your swords don't scare me.

**MM**: Except in the case where you don't have yours Mr. Smartypants!

* * *

**Archsage328**: its getting harder and harder to think of these. oh well, here we go again:  
1. umm...where in ur cage would u hide?  
2. if you could have any profession you wanted, regardless of how much it payed, what would it be? maybe the head of a dojo, or participating in swordfighting tournaments for a living?  
3. the swords u have always seem to be kept in good shape. how do u manage that?

4. what kind of things do u think mm would do to u if she had mr. 2's devil fruit power, cause typically, ur not an easy man to scare

**Zoro: **1) There isn't much room in this cage to hide. There's not even enough room for me to stand.

**MM**: So pretty much he just cowers in a corner.

**Zoro**: You can shut up now.

2) The only thing I want right now is to be the world's best swordsman. That is my ultimate goal.

3) I take care of them very well, I polish them and I usually keep them stored away from people and the elements. I'm a swordsman so I have to keep them well protected.

4) She'd probably just giver herself Sanji's face to annoyme but her face is pretty annoying too.

**MM**: He actually sounded serious…Next question/s!

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**Winged Devil Girl**: thanks for reminding me why i never have free afternoons, asshole.  
anything you wanna say?  
do you believe in narwhals?

**Zoro**: Anything I wanna say….MM is a bitch and fml. And as for narwhals, I don't know what they are but they sound like they'd be fun to harpoon.

**MM**: Zoro!

**Zoro**: What?

**MM**: I think I will kick your ass. Or….*puts on latex gloves* Bend over!

**Zoro**: 0.o

* * *

**Silverstar94**: Ha-ha! These interviews have cracked me up so much! Ok Zoro, I have a few questions I'd like to ask...

your parents have green hair too?  
would you do if your katana went missing?  
Nami ever told you she loved you (aww...) how would you react?  
the last chapter I read, you said Luffy kept poking you in the butt in the shower o_0 what the hell did he poke you with?  
Ok, ok I got kinda freaked asking the last question. *deep breath*  
a random bastard called you a 'marimo' and Sanji stood there and laughed, who would you kill first?  
6.(This one's really random) have you ever farted whilst MM was with you? And what was her reaction?

Oh, I've got a question or two for you too, MM! (By the way, have you noticed how I'm SS and you're MM? ha-ha! _)

1. if you keep Zoro locked up in a cage, how does he go to the toilet? Do you let him out? I mean, aren't you afraid he'll escape through the bathroom window or something?  
2. Where is Zoro's cage? Is it in your bedroom? Wouldn't his snoring keep you up at night then?  
3. And have you ever considered capturing the other straw-hat pirates too? (If you do, be sure to lock Sanji in the same cage as Zoro! Hehe!)  
Right, that's all I can think of for now, but I'll be back… Muahahaha! *ahem* yes, anyway. Keep up the good work! ;-D

**Zoro**: Great, more time wasting questions.

1) I'm not sure if my parents have green hair because I don't remember them but they must have. I certainly wouldn't waste money dying my hair this ridiculous colour.

2) I honestly would probably freak out and get angry. Then I'd kick the crapout of who ever stole or hid them. I hate thieves.

3) I would look at her strangely and ask Chopper to see if she was alright. That is not normal for that harpy of a woman.

4) I think it was his finger but it felt a bit bigger than that so maybe his foot?

5) I'd have to kill the random guy, Luffy would get kinda pissed if I killed the shitty cook.

6) What? I don't even…..

**MM**: I'll answer this. He does in his sleep all the time and its gross. Men are icky. Oh look I have questions! People wanna talk to me! Look Zoro!

**Zoro**: That's great, now why don't you go outside and play with traffic.

**MM**: 1) I do let him out for toilet and shower breaks but I have a draining dog collar and lead so it drains his energy so he can't run away. I need to keep my prisoner properly this time around.

2) I keep Zoro's cage in my back yard under a sheet of steel for shade. Bad thing though it's summer and gets pretty hot here hehehe. I don't think I'd want to catch anyone else because nobody else is this fun to mess with! Thanks for your questions!

* * *

**Zoro**: Yes, that was so fun I think I want to finish my day off my drinking bleach.

* * *

Winged Devil Girl….again. Just to piss off Marimo.

**WDG**: 1. what would you do if you were the opposite gender? Oda said that you would only use two swords-a third in your mouth would break your teeth XD  
2. if i give you french toast, will you stop being such a nasty-ass to me?  
3. call me mental again and i'll take Wado and turn you from male to gender unknown, ok?  
4. did MM and you make out yet, or was it hard doing so in the cage?  
bye, self-centered-swordsman.

**Zoro**: Good to see you've revoked fandom, one less crazy to worry about.

**MM**: Awww don't revoke fandom, it's not his fault he's such a little bitch.

**Zoro**: I hate you…1) If I was a girl there would be more fanservice and jokes about men putting swords into me *shudders* and Oda is a bit perverted and he's probably want me to have two swords so I'd have something else to put in my mouth

**MM**: Naughty naughty Zoro!

2) No. Someone else already gave me French toast. You're too late.

3) You'd have to find me first. You're clue is P. Sherman 42 Wallaby way Sydney

**MM**: But Zoro, you know we live on the other side of the country.

**Zoro**: SHH! 4) She opened the cage and put on that humiliating collar and sprayed me with something weird. Then I don't remember what happened.

**MM**: We made out, and that thing I sprayed you with made you 'happy' and you got naughty and then hehehehe we made magic.

**Zoro**:….I had to lose it to you didn't I?

**MM**: You (under a drug) initiated it!

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**Takono**: Heyy! Zoro telling me to piss off made me have to pee! Thanks a lot! You made me miss the latest chapter...  
WINGEDDEVILGIRL, SANJI IS IN ON THIS VERY EVIL PLAN THAT IS NOT TO BE SAID OUT LOUD-(covers mouth) shett.  
Ok, I'll ask you a (semi) real question.  
Next year i'm getting my drivers permit! hows that make ya feel? :)

**Zoro**: Not you again…..*groans* So you're going on the road. MM Just got her learners license, and she failed so bad. Good thing pirates don't drive. I'd be handing in mine.

* * *

**PhantomWinds**: I feel really bad for you Zoro and hope that you get out so you can kick Mihawks and Sanji's asses! You are by far the most badass character in one piece! Now onto the questions!

1. What is the worst insult that anyone has said to you?  
2. You can't hate ALL woman! Their has to be someone out their that you have your eye on!  
3. Who do you think is more annoying? Luffy, Sanji, Ussopp or Chopper?  
4. How many times do you train a day? And for how long.  
5. Which is better beer or whine?  
6. Does chocolate wine sound good to you?

Think that's all oh and here's some alcohol for you to enjoy!

**Zoro**: If you feel so bad for me, why don't you help spring me out? And I know I'm a badass. You can revere me with the rest of my followers.

1) The worst insult….I can't think of one off the top of my head but I know I get pretty pissed when people insult my skill with my swords. Don't fuck with a swordsman.

2) I don't hate women, I just dislike them and think they're all annoying. I'm not interested in anyone at all.

3) In order from most annoying to least annoying, Sanji, Ussopp, Luffy and Chopper.

4) I try to fit in 3-5 sessions a day, and they're about an hour, or an hour and a half long each.

5) Beer is better, You can just chuck it back.

6) Chocolate wine sounds like a terrible idea. Thanks for the grog. Only thing keeping me sane in this asylum.

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MM: Thanks for your patience if you're reading and still reviewing, I'm so sorry it took me 3 years to update, I'll try to be a better writer for everyone's sakes. Thanks for all your positive feedback and as always, bye for now, not forever.


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